Found two different day cares in two different localities. These places were refered and praised by Anupam’s collegues and suit us somewhat (we will need to shift house , for one),so are top in the list.But they turned out complete contrast. D1 and D2 is what I will refer them , for ease of writing.
D1 is a new place , in a posh locality , opened by a US returned fairly young female.The place is big , clean and carpeted,good cots and matresses, equipped with latest toys , educated teachers (which will do ALL) , plasama TV and CC cameras. They will give food , engage them in lot of activities and discipline them to a schedule.She will use diapers , but assures that she will train them for potty.
D2 on the other hand is a homely place , run by a old Tamilian lady , called Paty(Granny) by the kids. The place is comparitively smaller , non-carpeted , no fancy toys , no matresses and cots but simple floor mats, no teachers but aayas, no TV and no camera.We have to pack and keep the food with them , which will be heated and served. Kids will be allowed to live as they want , no discipline , but she will not use diapers and train them for potty.
NOW..why the confusion !! Let us make a list of Pros and Cons :
D1 – Pros
1. Commodious and Clean
2. Good Cots and Matresses
3. Freshly cooked Food
4. Camera , so that we can see baby from our offices.
5. Lot of activities with all kinds of toys.
D2 – Pros
1. The Old Lady is well experienced ,not only being old , running the plae from 2 years.
2. Baby will get a homely environment.
3. No Diapers , so faster potty training
4. Baby’s routine and food will not be changed much , just that he will need to get adjusted to new place.
5. ***specific to me*** No need to shift house.
D1 – Cons
1. The owner is not experienced for running a day care and sounded too theoritical.
2. Felt like she was insisting too too much on schedule and I am not sure that kids can be programmed to a schedule so well (includes food and sleep timings) and how good is that for their normal physical and more importantly physcological growth.
3. Diapers , why will anyone bother for potty training when baby is in diaper.
4. TV, who wants little kids hooked to TV.
5. ***specific to me*** Will need to shift house.
D2 – Cons
1. No planned activities. Baby will just spend time as he/she wants. So not sure how well will he learn new things and if Just sleeping , eating and playing with other kids is good enough.
2. Hygine and cleaniness, It was a clean place but not spot less.
I plan to put Aryan to day care when he will be 11 months old.Both the places have been highly praised by collegues and so they are highly prefered among others. But how do I decide among the two ?
This Sunday Aryan had loads of fun in his small pool. Here is a glimpse..
If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.
Hmm.. SM has Tagged me ..So I need to say 8 things about me thats not known to you..
Fun Game !!
1. I wanted to be doctor since childhood and I still want too.. 😀 Though I know this will always remain a dream.
2. I am too too short tempered , which is the reason of all my problems in life.
3. I love soft music , Jagit singh is my favourite.
4. Sometimes I like movies which turn out to be real flops.. like in my early teens I liked movies called “Dil Ka Kya Kasoor” and “Deewana”..:D
5. I would love to dress up like Cindrella once in my life.
6. I always wanted to sing and dance well , but I never could.
7. I was soooooo punchual till college that my friends used to hate me for that. I would yell at them if they were late by 5 mins and they would always be.. 🙂 Once I made them all wait for 45 mins in a restaurant to give them a lession. Now I can not manage to be that that punchual though I still want to.
8. I believe that my intution never drives me wrong , and I sometimes develop strong likes and dislikes based on that , but I guess thats not justified behaviour.
“Finally !!” is what was on my mind when he moved ahead. Aryan(Aru) was trying to crawl since long and every single day my husband would estimate about in how many days will he be able to crawl and my MIL and I would thumbs up to what he says.
But all in vain. None of the estimates worked and he could only try and try and try.I lost hopes for his crawling and thought he will probably walk directly as I did.Sometimes when people asked me , “Did he crawl?” , I would joke that Aru has decided to swim and fly ..and crawling is not something he wants. Quite recently though , just about a week back , he started moving in reverse gear ,in sitting postion itself.
Now that he started crawling ..we have started estimating the time for his walking. I know he will prove us wrong again.I think better we should enjoy looking at him , crawling on his tummy using his hands and mastering the skill. And let him enjoy the same too for quite some time 🙂
Today I know ,one fine day he will decide to walk too and its better to give him, his own time.
Sunday evening at about 4 PM , my SIL and her family returned home after spending 5 days vacation with us. Soon after they left , Aryan slept.He was too tired after having loads of fun with the kids and slept for about 4 hours.
When he woke up , he realized that his Bua , Phupha ji and the two bro’s (9 and 5 years old) are not yet back. He realized that probably they are gone.He realized that it was another usual evening for others, with everyone watching TV and chatting. He became very cranky and clinged to me hard and wanted all our attention. We switched off the TV and did all what we could to make him happy. But he won’t let go. He wanted everyone else to just in front of him , till he slept that night.Probably he felt lonely or insecure.
It was so amazing to realize that a 10 months old baby could understand love and attention so well.When his 9 year old bro gave a peck on his cheek , he smiled back and he called me(in his own language ,the typical ‘ayeee’) to tell the same. He looked as if he felt blessed. When my SIL holded him in her arms , he rubbed his cheeks to hers to show his love.These were the people he has not met before , atleast not in recent past. Now they are gone and he misses them.
Love, for sure needs no words.
In one of my initial post , I debated on the fact that women have equal brains as men do , though they might develop differently. In continuation with that , here is some more , to give a thought.
A leading global media and entertainment company , recently conducted a study and found that they have 50 % of women population among their total employees around the world.But what was more striking to them was that the men : women ratio was significantly low at the top level. They did a study on the “Why” and conducted discussions and meeting with the women on top in different companies.
After which they conducted an only women leadership program , and some of the aspiring women from their organization were invited to attend the same from around the world. One of my collegues (at a senior level) got the chance to attend the same and here is what she shared.
Negotiate : We, the women are poor at negotiating for ourselves. While negotiating for a promotion or a hike,we give up far more easily than men , probably because we have different priorties and for a majority of us job is secondary.
Here are some tips while you negotiate.A) Try not to be defensive. The other guy would always want you to get defensive. But try not to be. Speak less and let the other person talk more. When you feel the need to be defensive , ask a question.Ask more questions and let him find answers to the questions(which he is not prepared to answer).B)Do not get flattered. They will try to faltter you telling you that you did a great job and no one can do it better. (So you basically continue doing the same).C)Tell them their gain. How do they benifit from you. D) If you cannot get through , negotiate to find a midway , where both are benifited.E) Know your market value and negotiate on that. Tell them I want to stay with you and this is what I will get if I go elsewhere.
Heads Up : Women normally follow a “Heads down approach”. This also comes from their basic nature. A woman manager would utlize most of her time and energy at getting the best from her team. we should get more balanced and look straight. Guys spend quality time to sell themselves.They know what they have done and what is the impact , while women will just keep doing the due , thinking it as a part of their job.So strike a balance and invest time in selling yourself.
Network Well : Network yourself well. There are a few areas to that. List down the people who a)Support you b)Sponser you.Mind that, your competitors cannot be your sponsors.
Another known reason and I personally feel the most important reason is most women choose to take a break to nurture their families and they head start after a long gap. So the guys are far ahead till that time. So even if you think you are spending too much on getting a support system for your kids and not able to earn anything from your work , its worth it in longer run.
“Gone are the times when I would brush my hand in HIS silky soft Hair !!.” This is the statement my husband uses as he misses Aryan’s Hair.
Now , as new hair are budding over his head , even he himself does not want to touch his head. I often brush his hand over his head and he would quickly drag it away ..:)
Our bed is in a corner of the room.To ensure Aryan’s safety atleast from two sides , we make him sleep ,next to the wall.
So the only choice he has is to cuddle with me me before he sleeps. Yesterday ,we thought of making him sleep in the center (between his mumma and papa).Though there was no reason ,just like that.
Now my little sweetheart was so confused to choose between mumma and papa. He did not want to offend either. So he was shuttling between us.He would face and cuddle with mumma for 2 seconds and then with papa for 2 seconds.
Both of us felt so blessed that moment.Our 10 months baby was showing us how much he loves both of us and how he is unable to decide his preference. This shuttling went on for 10 minutes , when I finally decided that , he has to be next to his wall , if he has to sleep 🙂
The Process is going on and on and on…We do not belong to Bangalore but then nobody does really belong to a Metro. Whats more problemtic is , we hardly have company of people of our age group. So here I am searching for a day care for my little one even before he was born.
But I still stand no where.Now he is about 10 months old and in another 2 months we have to put him in a daycare. If only anyone could tell me , where do I lack effort :
1. I asked all friends and relatives in Bangalore , with and without kids.
2. I asked all of collegues,even the bachelors.
3. I read all the classified , message boards and sources available on internet.
4. I posted ads whereever possible.
5. I called Just dial several times.
6. I called all preschools to ask if by any chance they run a day care too.
7. I visited day cares in various localities , so that if any one suits my needs , I may even shift my house.
But nothing worked till date. Could all the women out there tell me ..HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO WORK !!!!!!