I have 3 cousins (SA, S and A) and all of them have been 6-8 years younger to me. I some how always thought of them as kids, only to realize recenty that they are already in their late teens and early twenties. It wondered that this is almost the same feeling that I would have when Aryan will be 18 and I kind of had when Aryan celebrated his first birthday.
These little girls , may have never thought that I consider them almost like my kids , when we stayed tegther and discussed everything under the sun. I would help them with their studies and projects. They would come to me with their adoloscent doubts and I would tell them what I thought was good enough for them to know at that age. They used to talk to me about the boys (and girls ) in their class and when I laughed along with them , I also used to get surprised by how I already feel a generation gap between them and myself. I thought I knew too little of this and that when I was that young. I secretly worried about their well being and always tried to find out where they are heading.
I would somethings get too protective and sometimes too authorative unintentionally and would scold them like elders would do. I know that perhaps at those times they would have wondered why am I being so different. But they never argued and always obeyed.
I do not know why I am writing this today. Perhaps I just had a glimpse of how parents would feel when kids grow up to achieve something. Perhaps I realized today that I am getting old. Perhaps the generations are coming closer. Here is the blog of A , started recently. And I loved her work. And that is what initiated this flash back !
By the way , Do let me know , how is the new look of this page !
Why do women work ? Why did I chose to work ? It was not easy ? It’s still not easy ? Why do I say so ? No , not because it’s difficult to manage all.
Because our society has still not accepted a working women. People think that the primary task of women is not to work but to take care of the house and kids. I don’t question and I don’t deny. But I don’t agree as well. Who is anyone to decide what’s my primary task ? If I decide with my better half , its okay ? But why should anyone else ? And why can you not acknowledge that I can take care of my primary and secondary tasks equally well , with due credit to my better half for being on my side.
I started working when I was single in a mid-size well known company. I was different from others. Because I never stayed in office overnight. I used to work only during office hours. And they said that I am different because I am a woman. So you mean , finishing your work in time , not staying late , not taking breaks for smoking and ususally seen on your desk is a woman’s characteritic. Well I always took that as a compliment , in case you don’t know that. Yes I am different because I am a woman and I don’t feel proud in staying back late in office even if I have nothing much to do after the office and I am staying in a hostel. You may though attribute it to my physical and social incapability.But then you don’t have any right to say that unless you prove that I am working less than you do , in TRUE SENSE.
And then I got married. And I moved to a Internationally well known , so called BIG AND FAMOUS company. Did this change anything for me ? Yes it did ! Since I was married now , I was looked down upon with sympathy and sometimes with some artificial respect. Yes , I call it artificial , since I know that you don’t really appreciate the effort I make , when I choose to work , but you still try to acknowledge that, with your artificially sweet smile. I want to tell you LOUD AND CLEAR that I don’t want that. I want no extra respect and NO SYMPATHY AT ALL , just because I am a working woman. Thats my decision and I will cope up with that , as I would want to. When I am in the office, I leave back all the rest at home. I may have got up at 6.00 and struggled to make breakfast , I may have brushed my hair in the car , I may have to cook when I get back home , but this does not affect my productivity. But you will not know this. ‘You’ ,the bachelors , ‘you’ the married males , who do not have a working woman in your life and who feel its okay to leave your shoes and towel for your wife and to think that you have all the rights to sit and just watch TV after you get back home , and claim that you are tired after the day’s work. AND ALSO ‘you’ the SINGLE FEMALES , who know that you will sooner or later end up into my shoes and will have to make choices , but then you wish to leverage what you have today by sympathizing with me.
And then I had kid. And people thought that its the end of my career. Why ? Unless I decide so , who are you to decide ? I know I have a challenge ahead , a bigger responsibility, but when I think that I can manage , why do you worry ? My kid is important, rather most important for me. I think of him day and night. About his well being , his growth , his successes , his failures , yes my life centers around him to a great extent. But why do you think I cannot think beyond him. Why do you sympathize with my physical capabilities of taking care of my kid, home and work. Why do you think I cannot talk beyond my kid and food? And I know nothing else about the world ? Why do you think my individuality no longer exist ? Why do you think that I cannot take up any challenging tasks ? Why do you give excuse of my kid , for not giving me an opportunity , when I never deny for taking up anything ? My kid , my home , my husband and my family is my strength. They motivate me to work. They, in no way hamper my productivity and efficiency. Yes , I still don’t want to work late and on weekends , but you cannot question me unless I have slipped any deadlines.
The day I would feel that I cannot manage all , I would quit. So bear with me till then.Don’t get sugary sweet with me , for I know the difference between real and fake. If you respect me at all , just DON’T THINK I AM AN ALIEN.
Editted to Add this quote , somehow speaks a part of what I wanted to say :
I’m just a person trapped inside a woman’s body.
They said I am an Advocating Realist. NOW , Whats that ???
Here is where they tell that in detail.
Preserved this just for my own reference 🙂
What is the biggest compliment you have ever got about your blog ?
When I started blogging , my husband once read a few of my posts and told me that , I have good writing skills and he loves the flow in posts.
I thought it was BIG COMPLIMENT. Mind it I had ZERO readership then. His compliment was a BIG MOTIVATION for me then. And I continued writing. The husband would read some of my posts once in a week , from home , when he would have nothing much to do. I never prodded him to read more often as I knew that there are few husbands who actually read their wife’s blog.
And then recently I noticed that he is reading that quite often. As in once in 2 days and sometimes even daily. And he discusses my posts and give special comments. So day before yesterday when he was looking at the map on the blog , I told him that I have a new reader right at home. And he asked “who ?” 😛 I told him “you”.
Guess what he said ?? He said “Yes , its really interesting.” Period. I need no more compliments 🙂
And yesterday evening he told me that he read my blog from office , when he was free for 30 minutes. And this is when he is REALLY busy these days and working late as well. So that was another compliment 🙂
(NOW , thats a different story that he doesnot really read any blogs and so he does not really know the meaning of INTERESTING BLOGS …good for me **wicked smile**)
Found this poem here, and its suits this day JUST PERFECTLY !
I always try to ask Aryan about his day at the day care. Thats a different story that he had not been able to tell me much really,except for some nods to my questions.
Last week though ,I initiated the topic , when he was lying between both of us , just before the sleep. He told me a full story with full animation and eye movements. All I could get was “Chiyya”,”TuTu” and that he got hurt under his chin.
The next day I asked his Paati (Care Taker in day care) that did he break any toy yesterday. And I was amused to hear what she told me. She told me that Aryan and another kid were pulling a bird toy from both sides and the toy broke into two pieces and Aryan got hurt under his chin , due to the jerk. And that she made them say sorry to each other and do a hand shake.
So that was indeed our first communication where he gave me some feed back about his day at the day care. A milestone , I don’t know if it is , but sure a big success and relief for me.
Now another aspect of the story that he has not been able to forget the incident. And everytime I talk to him about the day care , he ends up telling , “Chiyya Tutu” , meaning “Bird Broke”. I am yet to figure out why is he not being able to forget the same.
Parenting is not easy , I tell you.
(This post has been written here as well , just the conversation part. The parenting blues come as part of “Whats on My Mind”.)
*** My Favourites are in BOLD***
Women over 50 don’t have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’ …..Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day!
Yes, we met !!
Obsessive about puntuality and overwhelmed with excitement , I was the first one to reach. As I pressed the door bell , I was greeted by a lovely lady, with a beautiful warm smile. And then came the little one jumping around. Yes , Aargee’s little bundle of joy. The house was neat and beautifully decorated. The lady had made proper arrangement for the entire gathering. As we sat and sipped our cold drinks. After about 15 minutes the door bell rang again and again. Soon there was a room full of energetic ladies , laughing and chatting in excitement.
As they entered , I figured out that how bad I was with my imaginations. Except for Abha , Kiran and Poppin’s Mom (Since I had seen their pics) , I could not make out who is who.Poppin’s Mom still does not look like a MTB , even in her 7th month , unless you know the fact and focus on her tummy. Kiran should not be believed when she talks about her double chin and her tummy. JLT looks like directly from school and you need to be shocked when she tells you that she has a four year son. She was as bubbly as she sounds on phone with a magical voice. Mama Mia is sweet, friendly and full of life. Aryan loved the book she got for him and also the cap. COS was calm and simple. And she resembles KT , okay vice versa :-D. Glad that she came exceot for all the problems with health. CD , who was new to the gang , made her self comfortable. She has a lovely smile and a familiar face. So familiar that each of us felt like she is a long lost sister 🙂 Bangalore Mom was so friendly and jolly that you would feel that you know her from ages.
We did not know that it was already past 2 hours before the lunch arrived. The lunch was yummy and we realized that we can still chat for an hour before we go. And so we did. So in all we chatted and chatted for 4 hours , about kids, schools, in laws, husbands, weight , maid, Bangalore and everthing under the sun. And it was the time when our husbands started calling , thinking that we might decide for a ladies night out , if they don’t call us :D.
Hope to see you all again soon 🙂
What will happen when the virtual world will turn real ? I always imagined how my blog friends look like. I always wondered that there might be one of those working in the same office or same office campus. There will be one of them staying in my own apartment or the next one.
Now I know their real names. Also where they work and stay. Within some time I will know them by faces. Will I be able to guess who is who. Ofcourse I saw one glimpse of Poppin’s mom ( a pic) long back. I have heard JLT’s voice 2-3 times. I have chatted with Bangalore Mom and Mama Mia. I have seen Kiran on TV. So I know they are real and not virtual. But the very idea of meeting them in reality , makes me excited. And its not just them , I will be meeting COS , Aargee and Compulsive Dreamer too.
Today I will have so many new friends in this city , where I have always missed having real life friends and family. Ohh..I cannot hold the excitement. Thank you all for inviting me. Will be there in some time 🙂