Are we killing their Childhood , Their Freedom ?

July 31, 2007 at 9:13 am | Posted in Childhood, Parenting | 9 Comments

Apart from school , he goes to a skating class everyday.Then on Mondays he has an Abascus and a drawing class.On Wednesdays and Fridays he has Music classes. Thats the weekly schedule for a 10 year old.And they plan to start his French and German classes soon , as soon as they find a good teacher. Since they think he still has some bandwidth on Tuesdays and Thursdays and weekends ofcourse.

A conversation with the mother today made me ponder.Is it right ? She said , this is the best age to learn and I agree. But at the same time this is the only age to enjoy.She said she wants him to be the best and survive the competetion ahead.Its true that I wish my son to be a master of all but then I guess this is over kill. Should they not have sometime of their own. Just play with whatever they like.Enjoy the innocence of their childhood ,feel the world around and find happiness and joy with simple things.Skating is enjoyable , but then not if its compulsary to do it everyday.You will master it but in the process you may loose the fun of it.Schools these days have lot of extra curricular activities and I don’t mind extra classes for 1-2 skills during weekends , but I guess I am not pro about this over burden.

I did wrote about this some time back too.If my kid is extra passionate about music /drawing or whatever , I would go an extra mile for him to master that.But is it okay to force him for a french class just because I wish him to learn that at the age of 10.I thought this is the only age when you have freedom to live , sleep , eat and play and when we had that , how could be take that away from our kids ?


What Books for my Kid ?

July 31, 2007 at 8:38 am | Posted in Parenting, Society | 8 Comments

Kiran’s post inspired me for this one.Why are our kids not reading Amar Chitra Kathas? Or for that matter any Indian literature.I remember reading Amar Chitr kathas and Stories from Ramayana and Mahabharatha apart from Champak , Nandan , Chandamamma and some russian story books.I noticed with friends and relatives that kids today are not given any indian books to read and I truly don’t understand the reason.I have no inhibitions against other books , and they can be reading them all.But don’t you think our books brings them closer to our history , our mythology and our culture. Okay, I agree we have some fairy tales in our mythology and there can be a debate about all that being true/false , but anyways they are reading Harry Potter , so whats wrong with Hanuman ? Indian books brings them closer to our values and morals in simple Indian setup which they can relate to and visualize. With due respect to other literature , I think we have a great literature for our kids and we can be proud of that.But on the contrary , some of my counter parts , don’t think its worth.Or shall I say , its something to do with our ego and status.We feel proud if our kid can talk about all the famous international characters and toons on TV and its kind of down market to talk about ACK ? Will my kid be out of place , if he reads more/equal number of Indian books vs others ?

How do we protect our kids ?

July 25, 2007 at 9:48 am | Posted in Parenting | 6 Comments

I know it was never easy to raise kids and especially , well mannered ,well educated ,confident,independent and cultured kids with strong moral values.But is it not becoming increasingly difficult with each passing day or may be I have realized it now , after being a mom.Oh I know the topic is not new, we all have read and thought about it so many times before , mad momma did a post too, but this has been haunting my mind from quite a few days and I wish pen down my thoughts.

How do we protect our kids from the society ? We can spend money to educate them in whatever fields , but how do we educate them about the dangers from human predators ? And at what age ? With incidents like Nithari (which is not the only one of its kinds) and like the ones mentioned by mad momma and Trishna , no age seems to be early.I don’t have a daughter yet and I know these thoughts will haunt more after I have one , but then with this inhuman frustrated society , I guess I would need to educate my son too.

Yes, no one did educated us and yet we survived.But then many of us still carry certain black spots in our personality.Certain memories still haunt.Each one of us have faced eve teasing and harrasments from known/unknowns.There may have been times when we could hardly realize what we went through and later in life , there may have been times when we felt frustrated and yet helpless.Some of us may have shared things with our parents/friends/life partners while others would have carried it all the way in our hearts.Should our kids go through the same or can we do something to make their lives better.

Kids of this generation are learning early but thats what our parents thought about us too.Yet we faced what we did.Learning early has both advantages and disadvantages.Half the knowledge is even more dangerous.One of my friend shared this article today and perhaps that is why I am doing this post today.Even if we educate them against the frustated predators , how do we educate them (little later in life) about not making deadly mistakes.I am not going to discuss about whats right/wrong , we can have different opinions , but whatever it is , we cannot deny the need to educate our kids.How and when should we educate them ? And God forbid , what should be our reaction if we are one of the mothers from the article ?

These are some questions , I am struggling with. May be time will answer , as always. But then I hope it will not be late till then.

Judgemental ..oh yes !

July 23, 2007 at 9:44 am | Posted in Introspection, Tags | 7 Comments

Tagged. Am I judgemental ? Ohh yes I judge people over a lot of things and I am quite an intutive person.So I decide so many things based on my intutions and my judgement.

1. I judge people from their Eyes and Smiles ..I feel eyes and smiles can hardly lie. AND I have a good success record on this one.I get negatively judgemental about people who wear an artificial smile all the time.
2. I judge people by the tone of their voice and sometimes by the choice of their words too.
3. I am judgemental about the females who crib about their familes(Husbands/MIL/DIL or whoever) to anyone and everyone.
4. I am judgemental about people who are always praising everyone around and that too after drinking some syrupy one can be soo shweet 24/7. And one of them is my BOSS πŸ™‚
5. I am judgemental about the guys who envy their female colleagues for they finish their work in time and are hardly seen in office after working hours.
6. I am judgemental about colleagues who always say that they are too busy for a coffee / lunch.
7. I am judgemental about people who can never reach anywhere in time. Ohh, you need not be punchual always , but once in a while please ..:)
8. I was judgemental about my friends in college who would study day and night and yet would complain about no prepartion.
9. I get judgemental about people who are always complaining about something or the other.
10.I get judgemental about people who talk too much and more about those who talk about only them and theirs.

Well , thats my list and I don’t think I am unreasonale you think so ? So lets have a list from a few more , I tag Sunita, utbt , Asha and Trishna.

Happy Birthday to Dear ARYAN !!

July 21, 2007 at 5:04 am | Posted in Birthday | 4 Comments

Happy Birthday to Dear ARYAN !!!

Imaginations Turn To Reality

July 20, 2007 at 5:16 am | Posted in Memories | 5 Comments

This is what I had in my room , when I was expecting.My imagination and my feelings on a piece of paper and he turned out so much like what I thought πŸ™‚

My precious little baby
I have loved you from the start
You are a tiny miracle
Laying closely to my heart
Each day I feel your presence
Each day you quickly grow
Each day your heart beats softly
As only I could know
So I’ll keep this in a special place
And remember each year through
Of this very special time of life
The months I carried you!!

Running errands and talking on the phone,

I am pleasantly reminded that I am not alone.
Little tiny hands a precious rounded knee
pushing and twisting that no one can see.
Oh sweet child kicking up your heels,
it is our little secret that only I can feel.
I look forward to your birth,
when I can kiss your skin,
but for now I will just smile,
As I feel you play within.

The Story of Aryan’s Birth – 1 year ago

July 19, 2007 at 7:01 pm | Posted in BirthStory, Memories, Talks about Aryan | 7 Comments

I wanted to do this as a journal entry on Aryan’s website about an year ago..but with a young baby, I missed that. May be today is the best day to recall ,the maximum I can , and do Aryan’s Birth here it goes.

20th July, last year was like any other day in 3rd trimester of pregnancy.I went for my daily walk with Mummy.Like any other day I was wondering , when is baby planning to come.In fact I was getting restless day by day.Most of my friends due in july had already delivered.I had slight pain in pelvic area , but I did not take that seriously.Since my BH were getting severe every day now , I assumed my restless and pain to be some part of rehearsal .. πŸ™‚ That day I could not sleep nicely ..but that was not very different..:-)…most of my days were similar. The difference was my urge for restroom trips was more frequent and I had pain in turning to sides.

Then it happenned… :-D. It was 5.45 am on 21st July when my water broke.I was wet and bleeding too. I woke up my husband saying that lets go to hospital.He called up doctor immediately and she also asked us to come to hospital as soon as possible.She pacified me not to worry.Some how I felt I was not as worried as I always thought i would be.Anupam woke up Mummy and we gave finishing touches to our already packed bags.I brushed my teeth and got ready. No pains yet…:(

We reached labour suite.It was 7 in the morning.I was given a bed to lie down and wait.They had a word with my doctor and i was given induction through a gel at 7.40 am. The doctor on duty told me that cervix is too posterior and she could not touch that.I was made to lie down and wait for pain.Meanwhile I was given idlis for breakfast.At about 9.30 I started getting some contractions.They were about 10 mins apart but not regular.I was getting 3-4 contractions and then there was a lull period , when I used to relax.At around 11.00 am I was getting contractions taht were 3-5 mins apart but still they were not regular and there was still a lull period after 4-5 contractions.The doctor asked a nurse to time my contractions.She placed her hand on my tummy and said that the pain I am getting are not contractions.My uterus should tighten while I get contractions and I should feel the pain in the entire stomach and not just lower abdomen and back.I was not feeling any tightening and there was no pain in upper part of tummy. It was a so demoralizing for me.Afetr some time I had a chance to speak to the doctor on duty and I asked her if what I was feeling are contractions ? she smiled at me and said ofcourse though they are not good enough.I thought , is it because i am not shouting loud , they feel so ? Though my lower back and lower abdomen paine like hell,I was trying hard not to shout.Thats because my mother in law told me that shouting will not help me and I thought she was right .I was already feeling very thirsty and I thought shouting and crying will make me dehydrated and I will loose my energy.I was feeling sleepy between the contractions.I tried hard not to sleep and concentrated on the gossiping going on between nurses doctors , nurses as well as 2 other patients and their attendents .. πŸ™‚ Meanwhile they allowed me to meet my mother in law at about every 2 hours.

At about 2 pm my doctor came.She examined me and said that I am dilated between 1-2 cms.My cervix is still posterior and she thinks I will deliver only till night.She inserted a pill to improve contractions.After she left , I was wondering , perhaps pregnancy is the only thing where both patients and doctors are waiting for pain to aggravate intead of soothing that.I had my lunch.I was getting juices every 2 hours which I was not feeling like drinking.All I wanted was water.I was asking for water every 15 mins.Pain was getting severe.I was murmuring “OM” or “Please God Help me” or “I know i can do it” kind of phrases.I wanted someone to massage by back.i felt that my back will tear off.My husband and mother in law was around to comfort me.They gave me enema ,to ease my urge to pass.

At about 6 pm the resident doctor examined me and said that I am only 3-4 cms dilated and its going to take a long time.At 6.30 my Gynae came back and based on the resident doctor’s examination ,she said that she will come back to see me at 9.00 pm.Time was passing really slow.I was feeling strong urge to go to rest rooms which was ignored by the resident doctor.She told me that it was because baby was pushing.At 9.30 pm there was no sign of my Gyane.Now I lost all my patience and told the dc , please let me know if the doctor is going to come at all.I started begging them to call the doctor.I told them that I have a strong urge to pass motion and I cannot hold any longer.The resident doctor then examined me at about 9.45 and she was almost shocked.She said “Ohh My GOD ..Baby is Here ..She is Completely Dialated , shift her soon ,else she will deliver in 10 minutes”( I was supposedto be shifted to a suite at 6-7 cms dilation , where I would deliver).There was panic, someone was rushing for wheel chair , someone was calling doctor , someone was calling my husband.I was in shock and surprise.Within 15 minutes I was in the suite and my doctor just came running (in Anupam’s language , she appeared like God).All the preparations went in super fast manner.The doctor asked me to push and Anupam and MIL were with me. At 10.35 pm on 21st July 2006 Aryan was born. The 16 hours of pain , turned into a sweet little baby.

The doctor showed me the baby and I did not know , how to react.I was just blank.I looked at the baby and gave a customary kiss on the forehead.It was only after an hour when I actually took the baby in my lap.After another hour , I was happily nurturing my sweet heart.

That night I slept for just 2 hours , that too in two shifts.Not because Aryan did not let me sleep (rather he slept for 5 hours at a stretch) but may be because I was too excited to sleep.

In memory of Cheeku

July 19, 2007 at 5:39 am | Posted in Memories | 4 Comments

This post is in memory of Cheeku,our dog.He was with us for about 7 years. During early 90’s we brought him home.He was one of the puppies from our Tauji’s dogs.We used to celebrate his home coming as his birthday(18 Dec). He was named cheeku by me and my brother (considering the famous character , rabbit from Champak and the puppy’s rabbit colour). He was a mix breed pomarian.So, he was not very hairy and short.On the other hand, he was tall for his breed.

Seven years is quite a long time. He was more than a family and my parents loved him as their baby. My brother used to tease Mummy that she loves Cheeku more than us.Though my parents were always concerned about hygine issues with dogs , and due to which , he was not allowed on beds and sofa , he had his own bed and matress.He would eat whatever we did. And he was always a healthy and active dog.

We used to tease him with mock fights and he would priortise his gang with mummy and then me. Sometimes mummy papa would go out to markets and my brother to his friends.Cheeku and I would stay at home and he would wail to go with them.I used to consol him by saying , you are here to give me company and he would happily sit on the floor , next to my bed/chair.He loved kids like anything.He allowed the neighbour’s 2 years daughter to do anything with him or his things and he would never bark at her and never let anyone to bother her.

In March 1999 was my cousin sister’s wedding and being the first wedding in family we were all excited and hyper active.On Feb 13th , my parents went for shopping and as they opened the gate Cheeku went outside.All of us failed to notice that. After some time , I realized that he was not at home.I called my brother , from play ground and he went searching for him. My parents also tried to search him all around the city after they came back(could not inform them , no mobile in those days).But he was no where.He could definitely found his way back , but someone might have kidnapped him.For days we searched for him.Then we left for the wedding. All through , we thought , if he would come back , escaping from the kidnapper.For years , whenever we saw any similiar dog , we would try calling him as Cheeku. But, we could never find him.

We have had dogs before and after Cheeku, but Cheeku was with us for longest and he is simply unforgettable. Some how , I sometimes blame myself for letting him go.I just hope , that whoever took him , kept him with love and care and he did not miss us for rest of his life.Considering a dog’s age , he may not be any more now.

Tagged : For Books by Indian Authors

July 17, 2007 at 10:09 am | Posted in Books, Tags | 4 Comments

Tagged by Poppin For Books by Indian Authors ..Ohh..Books ..yeah I used to read ,quite often , anything and everything , but now its a forgotten hobby and as always I can blame this one too on lack of time after marriage and after kid.

But then , Let me pass on the tag , with a small list.

Choker Bali by Tagore :A widow with nothing to lose seduces her friend’s husband in colonial 19th century Bengali society. Yes, I did read it from cover to cover.
One Night at the Call Center and Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat : Good time pass reads , especially when you are pregnant in third trimester and wish to think beyond the baby making process.
Ignited Minds : A highly motivational book by APJ Kalam.
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma : A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny. Still to complete this one.

And yes , Could I mention my childhood favourites Champak and Nandan and not to forget Chacha Chaudhary (you know, I am in that mood today , if you have read my previous post).I read them religiously for years.. πŸ™‚

And I pass this on to Asha, NM, Noon, WhatsInAName, Kodimeow and SM.
Editted to add : Manasi in the list , coz I know she is an ardent reader , so her list should be interesting.. πŸ™‚

Woh Kagaj Ki Kashti…Of my Childhood

July 17, 2007 at 7:06 am | Posted in Childhood, Memories | 7 Comments

Remember the song by Jagjit Singh.I am sure you do , if you are a Gazal lover.This is one of my favourite gazals ever.Two reasons ,the words which brings nostalgia and memories and jagjit singh ofcourse.Some of my favourite lines followed by some memories :

kadii dhuup mein apane ghar se nikalanaa,
vo chidiyaa vo bulabul vo titalii pakadanaa,
vo gudiyaa kii shaadii mein ladanaa jhagadanaa,
vo jhuulon se giranaa vo gir ke sambhalanaa,
vo piital ke chhallon ke pyaare se tohafe,
vo tuutii hui chuudiyon kii nishaanii.

Our ancestral house was kind of a farm.We had a tubewell , lot of trees , some agricultural land,a dried pond,2 wells and a small house in the center. Though my father worked in a different city ,we lived there for 4 years in early childhood.Later also, we would travel to our grand parents in every possible small vacation and 2 months of summer vacations.I and my brother loved it there.Though the place was very much in the city , still we used to call it as our village.During summers even the other cousins joined us there and it used to be fun.

The tubewell was used to irrigate the lands and we used to utilize it for water play and bath. It was so much fun to follow the paper boats to the lands.We used to hide behind the walls , to see the squirrels closely and would immitate the ways she ate.Inthe afternoons , elders would sit under the trees(as you know , power cuts made it difficult to sit inside) and we would chase the butterflies.Climb up the fruit trees and fight over raw and ripe fruits.Make utensils from leaves.Collect broken glass bangles and make designs from them.Loved watching frogs and tadpoles when it rained.

At nights , we used to sleep under the moon (power cuts and the nice breeze) and watching the stars(sometimes counting too !!) and identifying constellations were my favourite pass times.Ohh how can I forget the competition of who catches the fire fly first!!

Ohh..I am lost ..stuck with words..Will leave here with few more of my favourite lines …

bhulaae nahiin bhuul sakataa hai koi,
vo chhotii sii raaten vo lambii kahaanii .

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