..your five years old son calls you “Moti Mumma” and “Mumma Elephant” 😛
…that I wish to do in next 2 months
1. Set up the house completely and make it baby proof at the same time. There will not be any time for another iteration.
2. Get whatever is needed to make the stay of parents comfortable.
3. Train my cook well , request her to take care of some additional tasks (with extra pay) while I am on bed.
4. Find a full time househelp.
5. Spend lots and lots of time with Aryan. He will never get this kind of attention again !
6. Make sure that Anupam can manage to send Aryan school alone. Ofcourse he does a lot of it even now , but then I am around. Relief is that Aryan will hopefully have Dushera vacations then.
7. Paint 3 T-shirts , 2 for baby and 1 for Aryan. I painted 3 T-shirts before Aryan was born and I want to be fair to the second one too.
8. Do some crafts with Aryan , some greeting cards preferably.
9. Buy the stuff that we would need soon after the delivery for baby and myself Stock the baby basics , nappies , diapers , clothes , sheets etc etc , washed and packed.
10. Visit a baby store and drool over the stuff and imagine about the baby 🙂
Yeah , its not Aryan’s. I am talking about myself. I feel suddenly I have lost my patience. I shout and cry and crib at drop of hat. I shout a lot at Aryan. I do not know if he is doing something wrong or its me who is over reacting because things were just perfect about a month back. I think it has started with July. These days whatever he does , irritates me. With a new baby coming soon, I should be more patient , especially with Aryan. Hence this loss of patience is worrying me. Aryan does his wee bit to make me feel worse. Yesterday he told me , you are always polite with baby and angry with me. When I asked , I am not even talking to baby , when did you see me being polite with baby , he came up with a 2 days old incident when the baby was really active and I had a hand on my stomach and I told the baby to sleep.
I hope things will improve. May be I am stressed about a lot of things to do in this month and months that follow and little physical strength. Hope August will make me feel better.
And how do I feel ? For past 2-3 days I feel like crying at the drop of a hat. Every single thing is making me cry and I am surprised at myself. For eg , I ordered something from a menu and it was not available and tears started rolling off my eyes 😛 And I am feeling like dejected and angry with all , esp the poor husband 😦
The other things that we have to do in last few months are making my mood swings worse. Like house hunting and the stress of packing and unpacking. Like Aryan’s birthday which I wanted to be GRAND this year but husband is not agreeing since that would tire me out. Like the excitement of having a new baby soon and making the house baby ready and the impatience that has started kicking in 🙂
Health is mostly fine except the minor aches that start appearing with the heavy body. Getting sleep at night is becoming tough and so is waking up in mornings. Have been experiencing BH from 3 weeks now and thats quite a new experience for me , since first time they appeared only in last month and that too I was not really sure if they were BH.
I have a doctor’s appointment on thursday and then I would know how much I gained this month 😀 I do show a lot in few of my dresses and do not show as much in others but Anupam feels that I did gain a lot this month. So making myself ready for doctor’s bashing 😀
Rest is all good 🙂
..when you see people looking at you as if they have an x-ray in their eyes and they whisper and you know what they might have been talking ..”Ohh , see she gained so much weight again, excercise did not help her for long” 😀
Yeah ..I am already halfway and it deserves a post atleast. These 20 weeks have been full of ups and downs in my life.
There was a lot of stress at work. And I spent most of my time thinking about those things. There were times when I felt that I am doing injustice to the baby by not thinking about her/him as often as I should.
On top of that I had nausea , especially in the evenings and lots of acidity and gas. And my cook decided to leave us alone when we needed her most. Ofcourse together we managed the cooking somehow.
All this left little time for us to really realize that I am expecting and so time passed pretty fast. The baby however decided to tell mumma about her/his existence in 16th week , earlier than mumma thought. May be because mumma used to keep forgeting about her.
Since then she gives me a knock off and on whenever she wants attention. Since then mumma has decided to dedicate some of her time thinking about the little one.
The older brother however makes sure that we talk about baby every single day. Earlier it was mainly about excitement and waiting. In between he suddenly became envious. Then one day he told that the baby is bad since he is making the wait too long and not coming out 🙂
These days suddenly the baby is not that bad again. He loves to know about the size of the baby and I used to give him comparison with fruits , inspired by baby center’s news letter.
So yesterday when I told him that baby is as big as a banana, he could not think of a fruit longer than that. So he was like now baby should come out 🙂
We will have our next scan this month end and this time we plan to take Aryan with us. I am all excited to see how my kids react when they see each other for first time 😛 , well not literally though 🙂
So long , so good ..keeping my fingers crossed.
Nanmun’s Online World …my experiences when I was pregnant. The journal written in baby language , say all what I felt each day and what I assumed my baby might be feeling. Nanmun ..is what I named my unseen baby then.Pregnancy and then motherhood ..It has been almost 9 months since Aryan came to this world and another 9 months since I was pregnant.
Pregnancy and motherhood ..has it changed me or my perception to life? I cannot recall since when but ,having a baby was one of my most cherished dream.It may sound silly or funny but before I dreamt of my husband ,I started dreaming of a baby. I guess it started when I was watching a movie in teenage and I saw how the herione longed for a baby and how she cherished having one after a long wait. Somehow that scene left an impression somewhere deep inside and I felt that carrying a baby in your womb and bringing it to life would be the most wonderful experience one can have.Today I can say , it indeed is !!
Plus ,it a test of your limits and to some extent your partner’s too.
Could you ever think , waiting for 9 months to see someone, just once ,when you know that the person you are waiting for , is right inside your body.. 😀 Could you ever think you can survive 16 hours of intolerable pain alone in a small cabin ? Could you ever think that you would be totally blank when your most cherished moment will finally arrive ? That You won’t know how are you supposed to react ? Could you ever think that you would be nursing a life 2 hours after it was born without your own realization ? You would be changing those dirty diapers , without feeling ugh… for a single moment ? You would survive through those sleepless nights and run your job in office ?
Could you ever imagine, your husband waking up at midnight to fetch you some bread and butter,when you are suddenly hungry ? Could you imagine him packing your lunch and snacks for office and servig you tea in bed every morning? Could you imagine him laughing and trying to make you laugh , when you are shouting and crying for no reason ? Could you imagine him calm , when after all that he does ,you suddenly tell him that you feel he doesn’t love you anymore?
I could not ..I wondered if I would survive my labour ..and I wondered how the other women successfully did ..But to my own surprise I came out in flying colours.I found my self quite calm and confident on the D day. I found that I can tolerate the intolerable.I discovered that praying to God and believing in God gives you confidence in most difficult times too. I also discovered that even my dear husband has lot of hidden strength.He could escort me during the birth and I found that just his presence mean a lot to me.
Our little wonder changed our lives. The ‘then’ care free husband and wife became parents …if was scary ..so many reponsilities….Its still scary to some extent.We are now responsible of shaping a life.His smile makes my day..he can make me smile at midnight , he can make me forget my pain , he can make us feel fresh after a 12 hours hectic day.He is our little magician.
He has given me a new set of imaginations and a new set of dreams.Now I dream of his walking , talking ,growing ,learning. Now I dream of giving him a BIG smile every single day of my life and retaining it all day long.
I dream of his beautiful tomorrow.
Yes I miss..I would lie if I say I don’t miss the honey moon period of my married life.It was so much fun..no worries , no responsibilities , no schedules…just the two of us.
I miss that…but then I do miss my childhood, I do miss my college days, I do miss staying with my parents under their love and care..so what’s big deal.Life is about moving ahead.