My baby and the big bad world!

July 5, 2017 at 4:42 pm | Posted in Parenting | 2 Comments

I live in the fastest growing city of India. A city where many come to fulfill their dreams , like we did once. When we came to this city , it was much peaceful and quiet than what it is now. But like I said , it is the fastest growing city.

As a mom of two kids , I shiver every time I hear about a crime. Just last week someone was robbed in our lane. But those crimes are petty. I worry about the more gruesome ones , crime against women , crime against children.

About 4 years back by little daughter started school and in the same year I came to know about sexual abuse in a school with a child of my daughter’s age. I went numb. What am I going to do. These schools are not just another unknown schools. They are branded famous schools , with high level of security. And I learnt that my child is not safe in school. Last year I came to know of sexual abuse in a day care. I always told my friends , day cares are safer than maid/nanny at home as there are multiple eyes on child. But I learnt that my child is not safe in day care. Yesterday I heard that a child was abused while being boarded to school van , in front of female attendant and other children and no one had a clue. Seriously!! My child is not safe in school van with so many other children and a female attendant.

Humans have become predators. And the city has become a jungle. And I am guilty of bringing 2 lives to this jungle. I am incapable of keeping those lives safe yet I brought them to this world.

We tell our children life is beautiful, life is blessing. We teach them to trust and love. We teach them to be independent. We guide them to take decisions.

And yet, we worry about their lives. We worry that they should not trust or love wrong people. We send them to school and to park and constantly worry about their safety.

My daughter has a school trip next week. And as a mother , I am struggling to decide between her safety and her independence. Should I let her go, she will learn to be independent and confident. Should I let her go, in this big bad world , to a place that can be avoided (school is mandatory , field trip is not) ?

When I was a child my mother constantly worried about me. I was not allowed to spend time at my friend’s houses except the ones my mom really trusted and there as well I had a set timeline. I was instructed to come home straight from school/ classes and not spend time chit chatting , because in the not so techy world then, there was no way my mom could track why I was late. At the age of 16 too , I did not fully understood her fears. I felt she was over possessive. Now perhaps I do.

I wish someone could publish a guide on how to keep your baby safe , without being obsessed about child safety. How to let them live their life , while preserving their life. How not to worry about them constantly in this big bad world. How to pick a school , day care , tutor , nanny , bus driver , friend who is human in true sense.

Who said parenting was easy anyway. When a child is born , a mother is born , a mother who is constantly worried about everything in the world but most importantly about her child’s safety.

 

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What do you do when

July 5, 2017 at 4:09 pm | Posted in What do you do when | Leave a comment

You have job, but you don’t feel like working

You have blog, but you don’t feel like blogging

You have kindle, but you don’t feel like reading

You have goals, but you don’t feel like aspiring

Can we just put life to halt for few days and do NOTHING …NOTHING AT ALL ??

What do you do when..

January 24, 2017 at 11:39 pm | Posted in What do you do when | Leave a comment

You know that something is not right but you cannot put a finger in what.

What do you do when .. you find your eyes wet on the day that was supposed to be the happiest and you know that these are not tears of happiness.

What do you do when you see their is a problem while the problem feels that you are the problem.

Sometimes I wonder why !

January 23, 2017 at 12:10 pm | Posted in Poem | Leave a comment

Sometimes I wonder why!
Why do roses grow with thorns,
Why do skys show shades of dark,
Why do birds who touch the sky ,
come to ground to feed them why ?
Sometimes I wonder why !

Some times I wonder why !
Why does moon has a scar,
Why does peacock has feet like that,
Why do you sweat most,
on days that are bright,
Sometimes I wonder why !

Life and death are sides of coin,
Beauty and grace may not be friends,
The things that look perfect are sometimes not,
Hearts have scars that ache and pain,
Smiles do hide them, in several ways,
Sometimes I wonder why!

P.S : This is random work of fiction, all is good in my personal life.

Also , I started my baking tryst in 2016, baby steps though.

Successfully wasted 10 months and 2 more to go..

January 29, 2016 at 2:41 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

..is a meme that is being shared on whatsapp these days and it reminded me of my 2016 wish list. Did I waste 10 months or can I count a few achievements…

Let’s see..

1. Patience improved..but I still have days when people tell me that I may have high BP.

2. Get more organised..no luck there 😦 Started well but lost the zeal somewhere in Q2.

3. Drinking more water than last year for sure.

4. On a strict exercise regime.. loosing weight slowly and steadily. Long way to go. And more determination needed. 

5. Learn a professional skill..I did get a professional certification. Intended to learn something else too..more determination needed.

6. Start baking…nay.. not even tried..tried my hand in salads though.

7. Do things that give me pleasure , like blogging and reading…Blogging in apps is slightly inconvenient . Bought a kindle for self recently and read a few books , may not be 1 per month but will make up. Learnt to swim…a childhood dream ! And that really gives me pleasure!!

Did I do well? Not really, but sort off?

Edited to add:  I am not sure why the date is shown as 29jan

Blogging & FB

January 5, 2016 at 7:20 pm | Posted in Blogging | Leave a comment

Which one do you prefer and why ?

I prefer blogging perhaps. Especially when it comes to expressing your thoughts or ranting. And when it comes to expressing your experiences with parenthood , both positive and negative.

Some might say that with FB it is instant and it reaches all the people that we know. Also because its selective and you know who is reading it.

But that’s precisely why I do not like it. Because they know you , they judge you.

For eg. why did you posted that shayari on your status , that was very romantic, does that mean you have someone in your life ..hmmmm…

I might have posted that for it is beautifully expressed.

I prefer blogging because its anonymous. My blog pals don’t bump into me during my work day and comment on my random blog posts in front of five other people.

Another issue with fb these days is that you get friend request from everyone you know and accepting those is sometimes an obligation else you may be considered rude or unfriendly and you may offend people. And it is tedious to maintain various layers of privacy settings.

Thoughts ?

Things to do ..

January 5, 2016 at 10:49 am | Posted in Introspection | 2 Comments

..in 2016

  1. Have more patience at least with my young ones.
  2. Drink lots of water
  3. Loose LOTS of weight
  4. Become more organized – Prepare for weekdays on weekends , make weekly menu etc.
  5. Learn a new professional skill and work on a professional goal
  6. Start baking
  7. Do things that give me pleasure like reading and blogging. May be 1 book per month and 1 post per week
  8. DO ALL THE ABOVE

Sometimes I wonder..

December 14, 2015 at 2:43 pm | Posted in Introspection, Just Like That, Thoughts | 3 Comments

.. if compassion is natural human emotion

.. why is it missing in few people

..can it be learned or unlearned

Sometimes I wonder..

.. What amount of sensitivity and compassion is good

..Am I more sensitive for the job that I am in

Sometimes I wonder..

Why is the right thing to do , is not always the right thing to do.

 

Second Innings

December 14, 2015 at 2:27 pm | Posted in Blogging | Leave a comment

Motivated by a friend , the blog starts its second innings today 🙂

Like always , I will make the same promise again , to try to be regular with my posts 🙂

 

Books , TV , Harsh realties , Stereotypes and Kids

September 4, 2012 at 5:15 pm | Posted in Books, Kids, Parenting, TV | 9 Comments

I have been thinking a lot about this is past few days and so its best that I sort my thoughts out here.

Last week Aryan got a book from school library which started like ..there was a girl (forgot the name) whose mother had died and she had a step mom who was very cruel.  After reading those 2 lines I kept the book back in his bag and brought a Tulika for him to read. Why not the new library book , he asked and I said , I dont like it.

Why did I not like it I asked myself. For 2 reasons :

1. Why does the kid has to read a story that starts on a sad account of dead mother. It may intiate a thought process of sad and unforseen events in his mind. Ofcourse we read books as food for thought but I sincerely dont think that he can handle thoughts of death , especially of mother’s death. Nor I think I am mature enough to anwer the questions that will be born from these thoughts.

2. Why are step mothers always cruel. I am sure this world has many step mothers who are not cruel. Why don’t someone write a story on those mothers.

I also thought , if at all I would want my son to think about my death , I would want him to think that he will be able to move on and will have nice people around him and not a cruel step mom.

And then this weekend Aryan was watching Chota bheem on TV while I was lying next to him and happened to see what was coming.  I know much had been said about TV shows for kids not been good. But then also I don’t believe in banning TV for kids (the why ..is for another post). So we have an agreement that he will choose 1-2 shows with agreement with Mumma.

Chota bheem was one such show that I allowed , thinking  that it is about a well behaved nice kid , sorts of a super hero , set up in indian back drop. Not too harmful at a glance. However when I watched it closely that day , I saw that girls in the show dont fight wars and dont do kung fu. They are supoosed to sit and take care of injured or cheer for the fighting men. Why ?

Gender stereotyping is already hard to fight and a TV show that encourages that ?

My son loves to help me with household stuff. I helps me with every single work that I do. Sometimes thats a pain too , uninterrupted , the work can be done faster. Sometimes thats a scare too ,especially when he helps me in kitchen , what if he touches a hot pot. But I have never ever discouraged him to help me. However some people sometimes do tell him not to tag along with mumma for its ladies work. I feel a strong itch inside me when that statement is made. I do tell my son later that he can ofcourse do that work some other time.

I sincerely hope atleast the next generation doesnot grow up with gender stereo types like these. Why is it a girls work to cook and wash ? Men also eat , can they not cook ? I would like my son to do all house hold work as I would want my daughter. I don’t mean to teach him all this now , but I am happy that he feels the need to help mumma in daily chores and does it with a full heart. 

I would want my daughter to play foot ball / basket ball / judo or whatever else she would want , if she enjoys that. I would not mind if she doesnot enjoy cooking and if house hold stuff does not come so naturally to her. It still doesnot come naturally to me 😛 However I would love if she learns to cook well and learns to take care of home well too , but thats a wish list and not a mandate.

Chota Bheem is a craze for now and cannot be banned so easily , however I just wish that he gets some good things from it and not the bad ones.

About the book , I was so pissed off that I  wanted to write to school to check if these books are apt for kids.

But then there are lot of fairy tales , indian and non indian and lot of anctient tales which talk about  harsh realities amd stereotypes. Somehow we avoid such books. Which is why Aryan doesnot know about Cindrella and snowwhite.

Not sure if this is the right thing to do though.

Any thoughts ?

P.S : Second post in a day ..not bad !

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