The discussion started over a lunch table where majority of the crowd was women and drivers. But still the verdict was
“Women drive worse than men”
“Their sense of judgement on road is worse than men”
I DON’T AGREE ..AND WORSE WAS WOMEN GAVE THIS VERDICT 😦
DO YOU AGREE ???
I know majority of my readers(thinking aloud , are there any readers at all, after a long hibernation ???) are women. I wish to know if I am biased ?
I do not know how this post will be taken by everyone , especially by women. I know what others wear is none of my business. I know what IHM says is true that a woman should be able to decide what she wants to wear and should wear whatver she is comfortable with. And yet I am writing this.I almost fumed twice at 2 different women at the choice of their T-shirts at public places.
A women in a government office , in a queue , with heavy bust and T shirt which said “Squeeze me”.
Another one in a public gym with a T-shirt which had 2 big humps (speed breakers) at the most apt place and it read , “Careful , bumps ahead”.
What are these women trying to say. That they don’t care. Or that they are modern. Or that they are feminist ?
Personally I do not feel that it was sensible dressing. I think what we wear should be our choice and decision. But as adults we should be responsible with our dressing. We should wear whats apt for a situation , venue and occasion. Just saying that its my will and being rebellious will not change the things. I did a post sometime back against having dress code in offices , because I feel as responsible adults we should be able to decide that ourselves. Wearing appropriate clothes at appropriate places and carrying sensibily what we are wearing , will only enhance our femininity.
Okay done ..now go on ..ready for your bashing.
Nisha pedalled the bicycle as fast as she could. She wanted to reach home. She was angry and scared at the same time and this strange emotion made her face turn red and her cheeks warm. She applied sudden brake. They were right in front of her , with a broad smile. Their bike stopped her from moving. They wanted to give her a piece of paper. She was scared to accept that. She moved her cycle to side and started pedalling again as fast as she could. She could hear them shout from behind , “Madam stop, suno toh”. She turned into a lane. She tried hard to dodge them moving from one lane to another. She tried to move through the lanes of friends and family , so that she could shout if need be.
She halted for a minute. The name plate read her Uncle’s name. She could have gone inside and asked for help. But what will she tell them. That 2 boys have been chasing her for a week now and its been really bad today. There will be 100 questions , about who are they , why she did not tell earlier etc etc. They might doubt her modesty. Her cousins might tease her later. So many thoughts in fraction of seconds. She heard the bike again and she started to pedal all over again.
Finally she reached home. She managed to dodge them. They could not see her house. Her mom was standing at the gate. How come you are late was her first question. Nisha could not reply. She parked the cycle and went inside. Her face was red and heart was pumping fast. She crashed on the sofa and burst into loud sobs. Her mother looked more worried now and asked what has happened. She could not speak for 5 minutes and went on crying.
5 minutes later she explained it all to her mother. She was scared that she will never allowed to go to tutions again. She was scared that she will never be allowed to go out of house alone. Her father came and asked all the details. She explained the looks of the 2 boys and whatever she could remember , the colour of bike , the sticker on the bike which said “rocky” and things like that.
Her father asked some of his well wishers to trace the guys. The stage was set. Nisha went to tutions as she went everyday. Just that she knew some of his father’s men were waiting for her to spot the guys. They did not come. Probably they realized that they did a bit too much on the previous day and wanted to give Nisha some rest. The police (who was informed , without a formal complaint) however traced the bike and the guys as well.
Nisha never saw them again. She went to tutions the same way for another year. She was thankful to her father and his friends. She was thankful that she told the episode to her family before it was too late.
The memories of that day are fresh in her mind , even today. But she is also thankful that it happened. Because it made her strong in more ways than one. Now she knew she has a family that trusts her.Now she knew that being young and good looking and being teased by men , was not her fault. Now she knew that she can handle all such stupid men with dignity.
She met another such guy one day after an year or so. She was not scared anymore. She never dodged him. Instead she drove with peace. When she reached near her house , the guy wanted to take the opposite lane. She shouted back and told him , why don’t you come home , after all you have come such a long way. The guy never expected such a behaviour and pedalled as fast as he could. She smiled that she gave it back.
Her father saw all of this from the terrace. He asked Nisha, if he was her friend. Nisha smiled and said , no , but he came all the way with me , so I asked him if he wanted some tea at home. Her father smiled back.
Editted to add : Submitted the same for this contest.
And I tag Pixie, Shruti and Abha.
Tags: Holi, WomenDay
First of all , Belated wishes of Women’s day!
How was your day ! Our day was made special by our office people.
On 6th , the cafeteria was decorated with rangoli and flowers. Table mast were laid and there was some flowers on each table. All teh ladies were welcomed at the gate with a rose.The higher management served food to all the employees , special food with welcome drink , some chat, ice cream and sweet and a pan to close.
And all this was kept as a surprise ! Nice isn’t it ! I think it was a great gesture , especially in current times !
Now , here is wishing you a very happy holi !
May the spirit of holi leaves you drenched with joy!<
Why do women work ? Why did I chose to work ? It was not easy ? It’s still not easy ? Why do I say so ? No , not because it’s difficult to manage all.
Because our society has still not accepted a working women. People think that the primary task of women is not to work but to take care of the house and kids. I don’t question and I don’t deny. But I don’t agree as well. Who is anyone to decide what’s my primary task ? If I decide with my better half , its okay ? But why should anyone else ? And why can you not acknowledge that I can take care of my primary and secondary tasks equally well , with due credit to my better half for being on my side.
I started working when I was single in a mid-size well known company. I was different from others. Because I never stayed in office overnight. I used to work only during office hours. And they said that I am different because I am a woman. So you mean , finishing your work in time , not staying late , not taking breaks for smoking and ususally seen on your desk is a woman’s characteritic. Well I always took that as a compliment , in case you don’t know that. Yes I am different because I am a woman and I don’t feel proud in staying back late in office even if I have nothing much to do after the office and I am staying in a hostel. You may though attribute it to my physical and social incapability.But then you don’t have any right to say that unless you prove that I am working less than you do , in TRUE SENSE.
And then I got married. And I moved to a Internationally well known , so called BIG AND FAMOUS company. Did this change anything for me ? Yes it did ! Since I was married now , I was looked down upon with sympathy and sometimes with some artificial respect. Yes , I call it artificial , since I know that you don’t really appreciate the effort I make , when I choose to work , but you still try to acknowledge that, with your artificially sweet smile. I want to tell you LOUD AND CLEAR that I don’t want that. I want no extra respect and NO SYMPATHY AT ALL , just because I am a working woman. Thats my decision and I will cope up with that , as I would want to. When I am in the office, I leave back all the rest at home. I may have got up at 6.00 and struggled to make breakfast , I may have brushed my hair in the car , I may have to cook when I get back home , but this does not affect my productivity. But you will not know this. ‘You’ ,the bachelors , ‘you’ the married males , who do not have a working woman in your life and who feel its okay to leave your shoes and towel for your wife and to think that you have all the rights to sit and just watch TV after you get back home , and claim that you are tired after the day’s work. AND ALSO ‘you’ the SINGLE FEMALES , who know that you will sooner or later end up into my shoes and will have to make choices , but then you wish to leverage what you have today by sympathizing with me.
And then I had kid. And people thought that its the end of my career. Why ? Unless I decide so , who are you to decide ? I know I have a challenge ahead , a bigger responsibility, but when I think that I can manage , why do you worry ? My kid is important, rather most important for me. I think of him day and night. About his well being , his growth , his successes , his failures , yes my life centers around him to a great extent. But why do you think I cannot think beyond him. Why do you sympathize with my physical capabilities of taking care of my kid, home and work. Why do you think I cannot talk beyond my kid and food? And I know nothing else about the world ? Why do you think my individuality no longer exist ? Why do you think that I cannot take up any challenging tasks ? Why do you give excuse of my kid , for not giving me an opportunity , when I never deny for taking up anything ? My kid , my home , my husband and my family is my strength. They motivate me to work. They, in no way hamper my productivity and efficiency. Yes , I still don’t want to work late and on weekends , but you cannot question me unless I have slipped any deadlines.
The day I would feel that I cannot manage all , I would quit. So bear with me till then.Don’t get sugary sweet with me , for I know the difference between real and fake. If you respect me at all , just DON’T THINK I AM AN ALIEN.
Editted to Add this quote , somehow speaks a part of what I wanted to say :
I’m just a person trapped inside a woman’s body.
but you should marry with these facts firmly grounded in your mind……..
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as
human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that
gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements. One, who has lived and loved,
Her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name,
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day,
even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;
to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want to;
and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that
you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at
her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply
because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house – Your unstinted support, Your sensitivities and most importantly – Your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this……
Please appreciate “HER”
A Forwarded Mail…Could not resist posting it here…
Here is what I read today :
“Mommy guilt” is both instinctual and cultural, he says. “Our culture looks to Mom to be the person who is there, who is hands on. There is this feeling that ‘This is what I’m supposed to be and anything else I do is selfish.’ “
Crawford says working mothers who feel an inordinate amount of guilt often try to overcompensate by forcing quality time with their children. These attempts can often backfire. “Any guilt that you carry from home to work or work to home will interfere in your performance in that role and in your satisfaction with that role. So you’re really cheating yourself.”
Not only is guilt harmful for couples, but Crawford believes it also hurts children. “A child will pick up on that and they’ll ultimately feel like they’re the reason that Mom feels guilty.”
Read the full article here.
Annie’s post brings back some memories ..yes ..of Delhi and DTC and Blue Lines.So many of them, which trigger so many different emotions.May be I will write about some of the memories some day , but let me first talk about the issue raised by Annie.
I remember on one of those May evenings while I was returning from work, I took a bus from ISBT to Noida.It was a blue line and I was a regular customer , plus the bus used to start from there(first stop) and so I could easily get my regular , favourite ,window seat , one among the reserved ladies seat.The bus got crowded and then over-crowded as it moved just about 2-3 stops(office hours you see !) but I happily sat there, looking out from my window , at the vendors , the traffic and the people in the bus.Sometimes I used to be amused at the talks going around and sometimes disgusted but then that was my usual routine and I was hardly bothered.
As the bus reached Laxmi nagar, there was a very old lady standing at the bus stop.She proceeded for our bus , but decided against getting in , looking at the inner situation.
The conductor told her ..”Aa jao Maaji”
The Old Lady : “Jagah nahi hai na”
Conductor : “Hai Maaji ..Aaa jao ..jagah dila doonga”
The lady struggled and somhow managed to get in.The conductor asked a guy on ladies seat to vacate but he payed least attention.The conductor did not asked again and got busy in getting in more people.Few ladies asked the man to vacate ladies seat , but in vain.The old lady requested conductor again for a seat and he says wait till next stop.Next stop was not far and all it brought was more people , pushing each other.The old lady stood helpless , when I got up and gave her my seat and I stood there between the two seats ..(as that was only space available).
The conductor looked at me ..well, I cannot tell if that was an expression of pity or admiration or was he laughing at me.He tells me “Madam kya kare ..jagah nahi hai” and I told him then why did he invite her in and in reply he tells me that he will soon get me a seat :P.A few minutes later the conductor offers me his seat .. 😛 I was so furious and just let him know that I am fine here.
I do not know , if we should have reserved ladies seats or not , though I always made use of the privelage given.(Yes.. I have forced some people to give me a seat at times..) But do we lack basic courtsey too. This post is not in self admiration , but then she was so old and skinny. She was not wanting to get into that over crowded bus , but trusted that conductor , who did not keep up the promise.He could have atleast given her his seat.The guy on the ladies seat..pity on him..have seen enough of those kinds who will give you a BIG LECTURE ..on why women want reservation ..when they talk about equality and all because of GIVING AWAY THEIR SEAT..but then she was his grand mom’s age ..should he not have respected her. Forget about ladies seats and that guy , but others ? Pity on all the guys, who wispered about the issue , but none of them gave away their seats , nor did they requested the guy for his.Well , I would have also not given mine , looking at the condition of bus (and all the ladies out there in delhi would know , what it means for a girl in such a bus ), but then I could not resist , looking at the female. I cannot expect selflessness from people , we are all selfish , but then their should be a balance. Don’t you think so ?
May be I am just revealing the obvious , that people who cannot fight for their rights , are not able to get their due.