Whats on My Mind

Suicides And Kids

Last sunday my maid (V) was on leave for some puja at her place. Actually she promised that she would come in the evening after the pooja , but she did not turn up. The next day when she came, I was angry , not because she took leave but because she did not inform me about that. So when I was talking to her about that she just said , “Sorry Amma”. And when I said a word further she said that please don’t say anything to me Amma. So I kept shut , thinking that she might be too tired or upset about something and anyways me shouting now would do no good.
But wednesday morning again she tells my husband that she will not come on thursday. My husband tried a lot , convincing her to come , telling her that it gets tough for her when she takes leaves and that this will be her 3rd leave in this month. But all in vain , she just kept saying that she has some work and she will not take leaves that often again. So he left it at that.

Some time later I politely asked her , what was that she is upset about or is she not well. The reason she told after much prodding , left me without words.She said that her brother’s daughter has commited suicide by jumbing into the well 3 days back. The reason was that she failed in her 10th exam. She said that she wants to visit them and has not been able to go for 3 days.
I was too shocked. Why do the kids take such extreme steps. Till now we have been hearing this in urban areas , but now even in rural areas. Good part is that the kids getting aware of the need to be educated. But worse is the fact that these sucides are not because they are worried of their future , but becasue they are worried of the social pressures. What will my parents say ? What will everyone think ?

My maid said that the girl left the world , but she did not thing what will the family go through and how will we feel. I agree with her. People who comit sucide , run away from their pressures but they leave their loved ones to answer so many questions by the society. Parents , who have loved us all their lives , how can we ditch them like that. How can we just escape , leave our parents in all their sorrow to be looked down upon by the entire world.

I felt horrible the entire day. This lady V lost her 17 year old son last year. His death has been a mistery as he was found dead in a well after he was missing for 2 days. People suspected a suicide or an accident. Her only kid now is her 13 years old daugther D, who studies in the same village (stays with her grandmom there ) and will be doing her 10th next year.V wants her daughter to get educated, unlike her and this is what she told me when this girl passed 9th. But V doesnot want to leave D in the village now. Worse is that D has been there since childhood and doesnot want to come back. So V has no choice.

I could feel the pain and the scare in her words. Fear of loosing her only daughter , whom she loves like anything. Why can the kids not understand that their parents love them irrespective of their failure or success. Why do they not understand that running away from a problem is not a solution. Rather it brings immense sorrow and so many problems for our loved ones.