नया सवेरा
April 25, 2021 at 12:06 pm | Posted in Poem | Leave a commentTags: Poem
नया एक सवेरा ज़रूर आएगा,
क्यूंकि वक़्त ही तो है, कट जायेगा ,
रात लम्बी है और काली भी,
उम्मीद का तारा नज़र आएगा ,
काला यह बादल बरस जायेगा ,
क्यूंकि वक़्त ही तो है , कट जायेगा,
अँधेरी इस रात में , अपनों से दूर
डरावना ये सपना , टूट जायेगा,
गम का अँधेरा भी छट जायेगा,
क्यूंकि वक़्त ही तो है , कट जायेगा,
थोड़ा जो ठहरे हो , ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ में,
जी लो इन पलों को आज अपने साथ,
कुछ दिन में पहिया फिर घूम जायेगा,
क्योंकि वक़्त ही तो है कट जायेगा,
फूलो को देखो, चिड़ियों को सुन लो,
बच्चों की मस्ती में , बचपन ही बुन लो,
जीवन है जितना , जी तो लो उतना,
छोटी इन खुशियों को मुट्ठी में भर लो,
नया एक सवेरा ज़रूर आएगा,
क्यूंकि वक़्त ही तो है, कट जायेगा.
Being a working woman
July 10, 2020 at 11:17 am | Posted in Women, Work | Leave a commentRecently, in two different conversations, two women walked up to me to say that they feel inspired by me and how do I manage it all. It led me to reflect upon if I achieved anything at all to inspire and not that I am a CEO on any company. And like every other woman I can come up with a list of 100 things that I could have done better in last one week.
I started as a small-town girl where I could have done my post-graduation and would have married to be a happy homemaker. But that thought never excited me. I wanted to work, earn my own money, have my own social life and my own identity. And I have all of it now. Many who started with me with same aim, settled for less or perhaps understood that they wanted something else. I have worked for 17 years in MNCs and raised 2 kids alongside.
Not that I count it as some achievement but if I think how it happened, I have to say it took work and a lot of will.
First and foremost, acknowledge what you want. To yourself and to your family. When I completed my MCA, I told my father that I wanted to work in IT industry. He was not convinced of sending me to a metro alone. But he showed faith in me and I promised him that if in one year I cannot make a place for myself, I would marry a man of his choice. To this day, he did not ask me to leave my job.
When marriage proposals came, I was not the coy bride-to-be. I told the suitors that I would like to work. I told them that family would be a priority, but I would not quit without trying and I want my husband to try with me , to make us successful. It takes two to make a happy home. I told them that I do not want to work because of money but because I like it. And luckily, I found a man who exactly thought the same way.
Secondly, prioritize. When I was expecting, I did not have a strength to work for 8 hours and then cook in the evening or do other chores. My husband worked late, there was not enough time for him to cook before dinner. So, we hired a cook. Many told me to take a break. Taking a break because I don’t have strength to cook, did not make any sense. The work kept me busy, active and sane. Cooking was not important, only eating was. Discuss with your partner what you want. Make sure he contributes to household chores. House hold chores are important but not beyond your sanity or your health.
Don’t keep yourself last in the list of your priorities. I am guilty of this even today, but I have improved. I had times when I did not see a movie for 5 years. Did not go for a kids-free date with the husband. Did not go for self-grooming for 6-8 months at a stretch. Did not think about my looks or fitness. And all this because I was too busy with the rest of it. And then I just decided to change that in 2010. I had my second child in 2011. But this time I prioritized myself better. I made sure I could go for a date or for self-grooming once in a while, without feeling guilty about it. That made me look and feel more confident, helped me calm down, gave me a break and made me a better mom in turn. So do prioritize yourself and make time for what makes you happy.
Plan and plan ahead. I planned on how and who will take care of baby when I returned to work. It was always a question of when and not if. I hunted day care centers and shortlisted them 6 months before the baby was born. I moved my rental accommodation close to the office, so I could feed the baby at mid-day. I discussed my plan with my manager as how I would shuffle my responsibilities for initial few months.
Next, ask for help. Get a support system. Family and if not, friends. I asked my mother to help me when I was advised bed rest and my MIL to baby sit for a few months when I returned to work. And I discussed this with her even before I conceived. Don’t live in the myth of “Super Woman” , they don’t exist, just like super man!
And last but not the least, hang on!! There will be days when you would feel it is all crumbling down. The kid has flunked a test, the house is a mess, the husband has a temper tantrum and it is all because of you and your job! Believe me, that’s not true. Do you think homemakers don’t have bad days? Push the urge to send in your resignation and sleep over it for a day or a week but do not take a decision in haste. Just hang on and things would be back to normal.
Remember that your struggles are not unique. Every woman faces similar ones. Go to online forums, office networks, mommy blogs and draw strength from others who have sailed through. And you may not even know that you have inspired a few on the way!
Wish it had not rained that night..
May 3, 2019 at 2:29 pm | Posted in Fiction, Poem, Rain, Rant, Society, Women | 1 CommentIt rained that night,
her eyes
her cries
her pain
It rained that night,
her wounds
on her body
on her heart
It rained that night,
with thunder
so deafening
and light
so bright
If only, it did not rain that night
May be someone, would have heard her cries
May be someone, would have seen the monster
who scarred her body
who scarred her soul
May be, May be not
But, but it rained that night
Thirty years down the line
She is scared of rain and thunder and light
Because she can still remember that night
That gross touch
The pain
The plight
And her helpless body in the lonely night
Thirty years down the line,
She is scared of talking about that night
Because she can remember the following day
The hate in words
The mock in the eyes
It was her fault is what they said
She played in the rain
She jumped in the puddles
It was her fault
Because, though its her life,
Girls don’t play with rain at night
Wish it had not rained that night
What do you do when ..
June 19, 2018 at 1:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments..your hands itch to shop and you have already shopped for entire year 😛
I shopped mangoes 😀
Of my memory or lack of it!
June 15, 2018 at 12:52 pm | Posted in Introspection, Memories | Leave a commentOne of my relative is writing a series on facebook, about the life he has lived. This series contains incidents from his early childhood till today. He is over 60 years of age now and I am surprised at the details he remembers.
I must have said it before that I am mighty disappointed at the kind of memory I have. That was one of the primary reasons why I took up blogging, so I do not forget important happenings in life. I am glad I did because when I read my other blog now I realise that I have already forgotten so much about my kids.
I do not remember my childhood in too much detail. When I connected to my school groups on whatsapp, I realized that I cannot put faces to names and names to faces in most cases , with the exception of some really good friends. I do not remember most teachers , seniors and juniors. I do not remember who had crush on whom (except my own ones :P) and who was dating whom. I do not even remember people from my post graduation !!
I do not remember about stuff like which was the first movie I saw in theatre and with whom , when did I first got my hands waxed and what/who was the motivation for it etc. Not that I need to remember any of this. But then these would have formed my bitter sweet memories and when someone talk about theirs , I wish I could have remembered too!
There are certain things that I do remember in detail. Like my first (perhaps only) stage performance, like when I got 7 prizes in a day, like when I saw my parents fighting for first time , like when I got my first periods , like when I fell from rickshaw , like when a boy told the teacher that he would marry me some day (in grade 1), like when I jumped from bus to match to my cool friends and fell.
I do remember all the boys I ever had crush on , even if that lasted for a day 🙂 But I do not remember any stupid things that I might have done at that age to grab their attention.
I remember all the close friends from each school or college , who mattered to me at that time. But I don’t remember all the incidents /moments that I shared with them.
My son remembers a lot more detail about his childhood than I do, of his! My husband remembers more details of our courtship than I do. I read books and then forget that I have read them. I forget the stories too , though while reading them I would think that this story would stay with me forever. But very few of them have lasted with me!.
All the above often makes me wonder if I would develop dementia at old age 😛 If whatever I don’t remember , is too much to be called a disease. Or are there more people like me 😛 I think, I should read up on how memory is formed and why people do or do not remember certain things.
It also make me realize that if I ever write a autobiography, it would be a bland one , with no juicy details, as I am not a person who can remember details. Not that I intend to write one !
विरह
June 15, 2018 at 11:16 am | Posted in Poem | Leave a commentअधूरी सी एक रात में बस चाँद खिला था,
सन्नाटो ने पूछा क्या वो मिला था,
मिलना क्या था उसे जो दिल में बसा था,
रात को क्या मालूम कि वो हमेशा यहीं था ।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
उस दिन जब कहां था उसने, कि जाता हूँ मैं,
दिल ने सुना था कि, रुको अभी आता हूं मैं।
फूलों वाला कुर्ता पहन कर अब तक,
उसी मोङ पर खङी हूँ, राह तकते हुए
रास्ता भूल जाने की तो आदत है उसकी,
वादा पर वो नहीं भूला करता।
My Random attempt to hindi poetry !
My baby and the big bad world!
July 5, 2017 at 4:42 pm | Posted in Parenting | 2 CommentsI live in the fastest growing city of India. A city where many come to fulfill their dreams , like we did once. When we came to this city , it was much peaceful and quiet than what it is now. But like I said , it is the fastest growing city.
As a mom of two kids , I shiver every time I hear about a crime. Just last week someone was robbed in our lane. But those crimes are petty. I worry about the more gruesome ones , crime against women , crime against children.
About 4 years back by little daughter started school and in the same year I came to know about sexual abuse in a school with a child of my daughter’s age. I went numb. What am I going to do. These schools are not just another unknown schools. They are branded famous schools , with high level of security. And I learnt that my child is not safe in school. Last year I came to know of sexual abuse in a day care. I always told my friends , day cares are safer than maid/nanny at home as there are multiple eyes on child. But I learnt that my child is not safe in day care. Yesterday I heard that a child was abused while being boarded to school van , in front of female attendant and other children and no one had a clue. Seriously!! My child is not safe in school van with so many other children and a female attendant.
Humans have become predators. And the city has become a jungle. And I am guilty of bringing 2 lives to this jungle. I am incapable of keeping those lives safe yet I brought them to this world.
We tell our children life is beautiful, life is blessing. We teach them to trust and love. We teach them to be independent. We guide them to take decisions.
And yet, we worry about their lives. We worry that they should not trust or love wrong people. We send them to school and to park and constantly worry about their safety.
My daughter has a school trip next week. And as a mother , I am struggling to decide between her safety and her independence. Should I let her go, she will learn to be independent and confident. Should I let her go, in this big bad world , to a place that can be avoided (school is mandatory , field trip is not) ?
When I was a child my mother constantly worried about me. I was not allowed to spend time at my friend’s houses except the ones my mom really trusted and there as well I had a set timeline. I was instructed to come home straight from school/ classes and not spend time chit chatting , because in the not so techy world then, there was no way my mom could track why I was late. At the age of 16 too , I did not fully understood her fears. I felt she was over possessive. Now perhaps I do.
I wish someone could publish a guide on how to keep your baby safe , without being obsessed about child safety. How to let them live their life , while preserving their life. How not to worry about them constantly in this big bad world. How to pick a school , day care , tutor , nanny , bus driver , friend who is human in true sense.
Who said parenting was easy anyway. When a child is born , a mother is born , a mother who is constantly worried about everything in the world but most importantly about her child’s safety.
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