My baby and the big bad world!

July 5, 2017 at 4:42 pm | Posted in Parenting | 2 Comments

I live in the fastest growing city of India. A city where many come to fulfill their dreams , like we did once. When we came to this city , it was much peaceful and quiet than what it is now. But like I said , it is the fastest growing city.

As a mom of two kids , I shiver every time I hear about a crime. Just last week someone was robbed in our lane. But those crimes are petty. I worry about the more gruesome ones , crime against women , crime against children.

About 4 years back by little daughter started school and in the same year I came to know about sexual abuse in a school with a child of my daughter’s age. I went numb. What am I going to do. These schools are not just another unknown schools. They are branded famous schools , with high level of security. And I learnt that my child is not safe in school. Last year I came to know of sexual abuse in a day care. I always told my friends , day cares are safer than maid/nanny at home as there are multiple eyes on child. But I learnt that my child is not safe in day care. Yesterday I heard that a child was abused while being boarded to school van , in front of female attendant and other children and no one had a clue. Seriously!! My child is not safe in school van with so many other children and a female attendant.

Humans have become predators. And the city has become a jungle. And I am guilty of bringing 2 lives to this jungle. I am incapable of keeping those lives safe yet I brought them to this world.

We tell our children life is beautiful, life is blessing. We teach them to trust and love. We teach them to be independent. We guide them to take decisions.

And yet, we worry about their lives. We worry that they should not trust or love wrong people. We send them to school and to park and constantly worry about their safety.

My daughter has a school trip next week. And as a mother , I am struggling to decide between her safety and her independence. Should I let her go, she will learn to be independent and confident. Should I let her go, in this big bad world , to a place that can be avoided (school is mandatory , field trip is not) ?

When I was a child my mother constantly worried about me. I was not allowed to spend time at my friend’s houses except the ones my mom really trusted and there as well I had a set timeline. I was instructed to come home straight from school/ classes and not spend time chit chatting , because in the not so techy world then, there was no way my mom could track why I was late. At the age of 16 too , I did not fully understood her fears. I felt she was over possessive. Now perhaps I do.

I wish someone could publish a guide on how to keep your baby safe , without being obsessed about child safety. How to let them live their life , while preserving their life. How not to worry about them constantly in this big bad world. How to pick a school , day care , tutor , nanny , bus driver , friend who is human in true sense.

Who said parenting was easy anyway. When a child is born , a mother is born , a mother who is constantly worried about everything in the world but most importantly about her child’s safety.