Does your spouse call you during his/her day ?

March 12, 2010 at 1:52 pm | Posted in Husband, Thoughts | 31 Comments

Does your spouse call you during his/her day ?

Mine does and so do I. Whenever we need , we call each other and talk about ..whatever ..whats happening in offices , what is the plan for evening /weekend , what is happening with Aryan, What did my mom say over phone ..whatever ..but we talk ..everyday …atleast once. Sometimes our talks last for only 30 seconds and sometimes 5 minutes or so, depending upon how we are placed at work.

Do you think its unusual ? I don’t think so. But one of my colleague does. He saw me talking to my spouse and asked if that was my Mom. When I told , no it was husband , his response was “WOW”. I said , “why WOW ? ” and there was another question , “he calls you everyday ?” , I said the obvious and he goes “Great !!!!”. Confused I asked , whats so great about it and he says , that he finds time to talk to you !!!

Now , first of all , not “HE” , “WE” find time to talk to each other. Second , we never really make any effort to find time to talk , it comes naturally to us. I look upto him when I have anything to talk and so does he. Its how we are. Its how I think all couples should be.

The colleague , is middle aged , married for long person. But he found it extraordinary.

Another friend of mine told me once that she and her husband hardly talk after they get home. She told that most of the time husband is busy with newspaper , while she takes care of house and kids. And at night too , she sleeps with the kids while husband , gets to bed late. And they are a happy couple. To me this is what is strange. How can you live with a person without a heartful talk. I feel stressed unless I tell my husband everything important that happened during the day. Having his point of view makes me feel relaxed. And I believe he sails in same boat.

Is this unusual ? How is it with you ?

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31 Comments »

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  1. Ohhhhh ditto with me too!! he calls up and i call up too! N i Love the 5 min chitchats.. somedays its just sms(es).. But Its nice.

    Nothing unusual i say.. Your collegue is missing out on something very imp I think.

    • 🙂 SMSes are too much of work for hubby , unless really needed. So for us its phone and email 🙂

  2. I think for any relationship to survive there should be an open communication. We mostly communicate thru emails during the day and hold the chat for the evenings.

    • True… communication is important ..whatever way it works

  3. oh well… we don’t unless its required… its not that there is a unwritten rule but we just don’t

    but yeah if we need we do actually… i hadn’t thought abt it till u asked this ques that would mean we are happy that way isnt it 😉

    • But do you find it WOW that others do ?

      • I am ok with it each couple to their own…

        just because we do something doesnt mean that someone else is also supposed to do the same thing…

  4. I share your views…
    I talk to him atleast 3 times during the day!! 😀
    If the work laod’s heavy and all that, then its once – but it goes on a little longer explaining stuff!

    yea, talking during the day and later at home in the evenings is very important to us as well 🙂

    • 😀 ..ofcourse we are soul sisters 🙂

  5. oh yes! we talk many times a day for a few minutes or we may talk once or just twice for a few seconds and it just comes very naturally to us…i have a big habit of unloading all my day’s happenings to him..and I feel incomplete if I dont talk to him during the work day..and we have to so much to talk even we get home, somedays we dont even switch on the tv! :p

    • Hehehe ..even I hate TV when I have loads to talk and he has a debate to watch 🙂

  6. We used to be like you until both of us ended up in jobs where we were in back to back meetings, now we email or text and talk (a lot) at home.

    I can’t imagine a relationship without talking to my husband – that would be quite lifeless a relationship – for us, atleast.

    • Yeah ..thats what i think ..talking is a part of life to us

  7. Good post. Firstly congratulations to you for having this open communication. Having been in the defence, where we were taught the value of ‘need to know’, there was no question about discussing office matters with wife – it is important that it stays that way in sensitive jobs.

    However, matters that are of common interest can be discussed BUT in earlier times, we did not have the communications hardware, like cellphone or for that matter landline too, internet etc., that facilitates open and quick communications these days. Snail mail, and erratic & very few ‘status symbol’ telephones were the only means of communications, and our generation had learnt to be content with staggered communications over days, if not weeks. Life was also thus very leisurely – everything was planned in advance, and things were permitted to happen on their own. Our parents did not have even that available to them. Things changed with Rajiv Gandhi’s induction of Sam Pitroda into the cabinet. He brought about a change in the communications hardware in India. This changed India. Times, and in turn expectations of people, change with the technological capability, I believe.

    Times have changed and now my wife/ kids, more so, too feel insecure when I don’t call/ sms/ email every few hours. Does it have to do with the age of ‘instant gratification (because we have the capability now)’ times that we live in now. So, please do not think that the older generation that does not converse so freely during work is ‘unusual’ – it is probably all about mindsets, in turn conditioned by ‘capabilities’. Loved your post, as it forced me to think ‘why’.

    • Ohh I agree with all what you said MR Joshi , I have seen this with my parents. My point is not about talking during work h

    • Ohh I agree with all what you said MR Joshi , I have seen this with my parents. My point is not about talking during work hours but about finding it extraordinary ..like its a great thing to do. I think when and how we communicate as a couple , is absolutely our decision , but all couples should find time to talk.

  8. Well, frankly, we don’t talk much during office hours unless its urgent. But our post dinner time is for updates and exchange of opinions and ideas 🙂
    At the same time, I won’t and don’t find it surprising if other couples do keep in touch throughout the day. Each person is unique and so is each relation! So wonder why your colleague reacted that way!

    • So true 🙂

  9. The post and comments were interesting. To me of the earlier generation, a phone is used for a specific need of informing and not for chatting.What’s more interesting is that couples communicate thro email.I’m guessing it happens when distance separates them, otherwise it seems not merely interesting but rather disturbing. I don’t think there is a ‘should’ or time schedule on the frequency of verbal communication. Some people talk easily while others don’t. When there is understanding between partners, they are more sensitive to each other and a smile, a glance, a touch, a kiss can speak volumes. Of course day to day events/ pressures/plans are discussed directly, face to face – what could be a better way?

    • Very true

  10. Even though my wife and I have always spoken over the phone while at work and even during days of travel, I don’t think that it is something that defines communication between couples. A couple that chooses to catch-up only during the evening may also be able to communicate effectively.

    That said, I don’t think “no time” can be a valid reason not to call your spouse… availability of time is just a priority sequence.

    • I agree, like i said above also I think when and how we communicate as a couple , is absolutely our decision , but all couples should find time to talk. Its important for any relationship

  11. I earlier thought TS and I called each other often because we were a newly married couple. Now it has become a habit and like you said, even if it’s a “Just called to say Hi. Entering a meeting room”, we call each other frequently.

  12. yes we call too..somedays just once,somedays more.The calls are mostly short.but we do..When we go without talking to each other for a long time,we get crabby!!!LOL!

  13. Yes we also talk.Generally we talk about time taken to reach office, work in office, at the time we are starting to home from office. I don’t think its unusual.

  14. It really depends not only on the generation you belong to but also your personality. I think the quiet, repressed sort of person would not want to communicate, and the secure garrulous type would be more open

  15. Yes..we talk..three times..Morning to enquire BreakFast..Afternoon about Lunch and evening to know what time we are leaving….:-)
    Not unusal at all

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  18. I used to think that the reason that my wife doesn’t call me during the day was because she was busy with work.. She’s been on maternity leave for the last 7 weeks and still no communication during day.. It bugs me and I have told her about it but she will be good for a while then nothing. I want to pick and choose my battles so I don’t push the issue. How can you make someone call and talk to you if it is not in their heart?

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