Strange Behaviour of Aryan

March 14, 2008 at 8:11 am | Posted in Day Care | 13 Comments

We started daycare for Aryan in July last year. He was almost one year then. Mornings , he used to cry when we used to leave him. We thought its okay for him to cry in the mornings for some time. We read in books and were told by friends that its called seperation anxiety.
When we used to pick him up in evening,he used to cry a little as soon as he would see us .But once in our laps he used to smile , at us as well as the ladies in day care.So we waited for him to stop crying in the evening. He did. But he used to show great joy and come running to us , in the fastest way possible. Crying in morning also became less and there were days (off and on) when there was no crying at all. While that’s not a daily trend still.
Now , why am I writing this today ? Because we have noticed a very strange thing from past three days. When we reach in the evening , we see him sitting happily on a rocker or a toy car. But when he sees us , the joy and the smile vanishes. The happy face suddenly changes into a sad face. He does not run to reach us. He comes to us normally. Though once in our laps , he still smiles and laughs at us and to the ladies. In the car on the way back, he is just fine.Happy as always.
But that 30 seconds , when he suddenly shows no joy to see us , is killing. What could be the reason ? Is he complaining ? Or is he disappointed to see us there, that now he would have to leave all fun and go home ? Does he has a problem there ? If so , why does he smiles at the people there and say bye to them.I can see an affection in his eyes for them.

Has some one been in a similar situation ?



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  1. Hey Swati.. I have not been in such a situation so am not able to suggest anything. But I can completely understand what you must be feeling..

    May be you can try this one thing.. if you show some more excitement on seeing him in the evening, he will reciprocate the same..

  2. oh … hmm .. not sure … but then I know a colleague, who mentioned that her girl did not like going home either because at home it was only the three of them (mom, dad and herself) … but she was older I think 4 or 5. Did you talk to the daycare people … maybe they do some activities in the evening that he feels he misses?

  3. Swati,
    I think it is his way of asking “Mom where were you all this time? I missed you” Other than that, I cannot think of any reason because he smiles and comes to you soo after that. Thats a nice header 🙂

  4. Swathi..I am reading this at the right time..Today I left Aryan in the day care.the first day….I felt like someone is snacthing my heart from me…I just don’t know what to say. …

  5. Maybe, he’s just enjoying school?
    I used to hate coming home from school it seems and used to cry when I had to leave for the day!!
    So, I really thing it’s not too big a deal – but, I’m not a parent yet, so practically how it feels – I don’t know… Hugs to you…

  6. I think he is complaining. He missed you and is still angry that you left him alone, and yet he is also very happy to see you.

  7. I think, as Aryan is growing, He has also started grasping and understanding the things happening in front of him. May be he is not able to understand why his parents leave him alone for entire day or may be now he is getting used to his play school. He is enjoying the company of other children. Children start loving the people who are around them and taking care of them. Dont know what to say…

  8. You know what happenned to me? I got jealous of the day care lady because my daughter was getting attached to her.. and not crying when i left her. God, I cannot imagine I could feel like that.

  9. Thanks everyone for all your advice and support.

    I kept in mind everything. What I did was that I showed the same excitement to see him and after he comes to me I gave him lots of hugs and kisses. He has improved. He again started coming to me as fast as he can. Though his expressions are still not like before.
    Hope we and he will overcome , whatever it is , very soon.

    Notunma , I understand what you have said and I can completely identify with you. Its not unusual. Kids get attached to care takers , but parents will always be parents. We have to make sure we give them enough love and attention when we are with them

  10. Swati,

    am glad things are working out for you and sincerely wish all the very best for all of you!

    Swati 🙂

  11. Swati, after my older daughter had settled into daycare at the age of 2, she liked it so much that she did not want to come home. We had to drag her away from the swings and toys and her teachers.

    I don’t know what may be the reason for Aryan’s behaviour, but I hope he’s okay.

  12. ooh ,..thats a tricky one!
    My guess is kids generally adapt to their surroundings and people ard them really fast…
    So in all probability hes having so much fun there with the other kids…that when u come he knows the funs gonna go!
    Think its not that hes not happy to see u..but more that he knows playtime is over!

  13. Not been in a situation like that but am speculating that he does not want to let go of all the fancy toys and the fun that he has!!

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