Are we killing their Childhood , Their Freedom ?

July 31, 2007 at 9:13 am | Posted in Childhood, Parenting | 9 Comments

Apart from school , he goes to a skating class everyday.Then on Mondays he has an Abascus and a drawing class.On Wednesdays and Fridays he has Music classes. Thats the weekly schedule for a 10 year old.And they plan to start his French and German classes soon , as soon as they find a good teacher. Since they think he still has some bandwidth on Tuesdays and Thursdays and weekends ofcourse.

A conversation with the mother today made me ponder.Is it right ? She said , this is the best age to learn and I agree. But at the same time this is the only age to enjoy.She said she wants him to be the best and survive the competetion ahead.Its true that I wish my son to be a master of all but then I guess this is over kill. Should they not have sometime of their own. Just play with whatever they like.Enjoy the innocence of their childhood ,feel the world around and find happiness and joy with simple things.Skating is enjoyable , but then not if its compulsary to do it everyday.You will master it but in the process you may loose the fun of it.Schools these days have lot of extra curricular activities and I don’t mind extra classes for 1-2 skills during weekends , but I guess I am not pro about this over burden.

I did wrote about this some time back too.If my kid is extra passionate about music /drawing or whatever , I would go an extra mile for him to master that.But is it okay to force him for a french class just because I wish him to learn that at the age of 10.I thought this is the only age when you have freedom to live , sleep , eat and play and when we had that , how could be take that away from our kids ?

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  1. Totaly agree with you. I’m totally averse to the idea of getting kids into too many things in one go.

    I want him to ENJOY his childhood as we did. And are we faring bad? I don’t think so.

    SOme may say, times are changing. But its us who are making it change this way. Sometimes when kids are little lazy and do not participate in much activities, then its a good idae to enforce some kind of a activity so they are not just sitting idle and laze around watching cartoons etc on TV.

    Otherwise, I’m total No-No for such “to be the best and survive the competetion ahead” idealogy

  2. I am with you on this one Swati. I too feel that its not right to burden the young minds too much. I know that its the best age to learn….but not to over-burden and dump so many things on them…

    I have seen parents here in US…they make kids attend so many classes everyday apart from their regular school classes(music, teakwondo, kumon etc etc…..) that I keep wondering, will the kid ever get some time to spend with their parents doing silly things that a kid is supposed to do?
    And then some parents I have seen send their kids to bollywood dance classes!!!!….I mean think about it….why should kids learn bollywood dance? is that a necesity or even appropriate at such an young age???? What value is that adding to their learning is what I don’t get.

    Anyways, as parents they think that its best for their kids…..But my idea is to let them learn what they want, in their own pace.

  3. ha!ha!ha!

    it seems to me that these over-enthusiastic parents are trying to give their children what they never had in their childhood. plus, who is to know if the child will retain any of these special skills in the years to come let alone cherish it.

    and regarding competition ahead, if everybody in their peer group starts doing what they are doing, then in due course of time there will be a level playground once again…

    but i agree with mynanhipari above. kids are supposed to do silly things in their time with their parents… ‘coz to my mind, a happy childhood full of love and togetherness is what prepares the child for the competition up ahead.

    what do u think…

    manasi

  4. oh well 😦 I am feeling guilty now. My children’s schedule is as bad as this.
    Maybe I should think over now! But the truth remains that if they are at home they are spending most of their time in front of tv. 😦
    dont know what to do

  5. i have gone thru all this and i never cribbed… may be because i still had a lot of time for myself and family and friends. but with the current educational system, this will not work out. and one day kids will kill their parents for doing this to them!

  6. nm , NanhiPari , Manasi : True , they should be given their time and freedom.They should not over disciplined and should be allowed to be lazy and naughty.They should be allowed to break some toys and ao some silly things. Thats what is childhood all about. What memories they will form otherwise and will they cherish their childhood as we do ?

    WIAN : Its never too late , if you agree then you can still reconsider. Let them explore their creativity at home.Let them discover what they are best at.

    Asha : Good for you 🙂 And thats the point , they already do so much in school.In our times school concentrated on studies only.

  7. I’m with you on this !!

  8. With you on this. am not one to force kids into being total performers. After all, they need time to have fun- this is the only age when they can be relaitvely free from pressure.
    But then, don’t want him to laze infront of the tv all day, nor do I want him to fall terribly behind his peers. Guess we need to collectivley make an effort to slow down and take things easier.

  9. Totally agree with you on this. What’s more, the rush to overschedule means they lose touch with their own imagination and the art of finding play in everything, and start becoming ‘bored’, in homes stuffed with all manner of toys, books, games and videos, which we never had when we were young.


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