Whats on My Mind

Discipling kids and making them independent

myamusingmind — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:59:38 +0000

I have been thinking about it from quite a while. I read poppins some time back and then I read Kiran. Am I doing right ? What more should I do and how ? And how much is enough ? How much should Aryan do at this age ? How should I train or enable him to do what he should ? I also saw a very nice TV program on doordarshan where the speaker used a phrase “age appropriate independence”. The phrase has been on my mind since then.

I know discipling kids and making them independent are two different things and I am kind of mixing them up. But there is something that relates them.

Aryan CAN do a lot of things on his own but he won’t do them , unless he feels like doing them. So though he will show off his skills every now and then , it doesnot always solve the purpose since he would anyway say “Mumma” at the drop of a hat.

For eg , he can fetch a glass of water from kitchen , which includes taking out the glass from drawer , opening and closing of tap and getting a full glass out without spilling , but he would still call me when he wants water. Though sometimes he agrees to fetch it himself.

He can bath himself , but the soap will only be over the tummy and hands.

He can wear his own clothes with perfection 99% of times , if the clothes don’t have buttons.

He can wear and take off his shoes.

He can eat with a spoon with perfection but he usually demands to be fed.

I do not expect him to do things better than the way he does now. I definitely do not expect him to wash his plate , but ofcourse i do expect him to clear the toy mess he creates , which ofcourse he knows how to do , but doesnot want to do.

Now why am I mixing all of this. According to me Aryan almost has “age appropriate independence” , which means a kid should be able to do what he is capable of at his age.

But that does not solve the trouble , even if the kid is able to do ,what if he doesnot want to do. How to handle that ?

Aryan loves to show off that he can wear his own shoes and clothes and thats great , but he doesnot love to show off that he can eat on his own. He can ofcourse keep his toys back in place , but he never wants to do that. And here comes the discipline

How do you discipline your kid ? Do you scold them to follow instruction ? Do you bribe them ? Do you let them cry ?

And its not just doing things. Its about so many other things too. For example ,having milk. He once loved milk but he has stopped having it. What do I do ? Shall I sit with a glass of milk for hours prodding him to drink. I have never forced him to eat. But milk is something thats essential. So sometimes he drinks with incentives like new mug , different glass and all that. And those times he even asks to refill , which shows that he loves it even now. But I cannot get him to drink it every day.

So the problem lies in not making them learn to do something but making it a habit. And thats where I fail. Any ideas ?

This left me shivering..

myamusingmind — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:48:41 +0000

I am sure you would have read this ,

Bangalore: A nanny hired by a couple in India’s IT hub of Bangalore regularly drugged the seven-month-old baby in her care and rented him out for Rs100 a day, to be used by street beggars, the Times of India newspaper reported yesterday.

I am..

myamusingmind — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:48:43 +0000

..not on a sabbatical or blog break. I am reading all of you and I do not have a single unread post in reader.

But I suddenly do not have any words , I don’t feel like commenting , I don’t feel like posting. Either there is nothing on my mind or there is too much ..funny situation..bear with me

Dumb and me ????

myamusingmind — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:03:29 +0000

How DUMB is me? –picked from Pixie

The more [x]’ s the “dumber” you are.

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking

[x] You have run into a glass/screen door

[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle …when I was 5..does that count ??
[x] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself

[x] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

[x] You have run into a tree/bush.

[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow

[ ] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times

[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.

[x] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 7

[ ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

[ ] You have choked on your own spit .

[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.

[ ] You’ve never seen the Matrix.

[ ] You type only with two fingers.

[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire

[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

[ ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair – 50 -50 ..slept but not fallen
So far: 8

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking

[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about

[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you

[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math

[ ] You have eaten a bug ***YUCK!!!***

[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important ..ohh yes I should be finishing pending work before I leave for vacation
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

[x] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand

[x] You have run around naked in your house.

So far: 15

[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.

[x] You break a lot of things.

[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.

[x] You tilt your head when you’re confused

[ ] You have fallen out of your chair before

[x] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall

[x] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

TOTAL: 19

I am (19/37)*100 = 51.35% DUMB !

More than 50% !!!

NOW ..I already knew that and I bet many of you knew as well ..for rest ..Thats the latest news !!

P.S : Off I go for 2 weeks of diwali break , something that I truly cherish.
Till then ..Keep Smiling like you just did !

Bannergatta National Park!

myamusingmind — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:40:51 +0000

Birthday was ..

myamusingmind — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:06:49 +0000

..A nice movie in theater after 3.5 years and that too for just the 2 of us (in Gold class !!)
..followed by a yummy cake , that was cut by Aryan

..And a dinner with the family

And it was all Anupam’s plan
What more could I ask for

Only on your blog..

myamusingmind — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:34:23 +0000

Can you get awards such as :

One Lovely Blogger Award

By Swaram , Shruti And Uma!

And I Love Your Blog

Friends!!

Inspirational Blogger

Addicting Blog

And Tea of Friendship

By namesake Swaram!!

And Only on your blog ..Can you pass these awards to ALL YOUR BLOG PALS

And only on your blog you can say the following :

And Only on your blog ..you can ask for Virtual Birthday gifts ..
..yeah ..I really wish to pass these award to everyone who has ever commented on this blog and to every blog I comment on !! Please pick this up and oblige me ! That would be your virtual birthday gift to me !

I plan , to fail :-(

myamusingmind — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:32:05 +0000

Why does it always happen to me ?

I am one nut case you know. I plan too much , tooo much.

Like if I am going on a vacation for 3 days , I would start planning my dresses for each day , night dress too and then Aryan’s dresses , as soon as I book my tickets , which might be 2 months before the D day. I would pack every possible thing required. I would keep spare set of clothes , “what if cold drink spills over dress”.

If someone is visiting us after 2 weeks for lunch , I would start thinking what to cook from today.

If its someone’s birthday (may be mine too), I would plan things from the start of the day to the end , what to cook , where to go , what to eat , how to wish etc etc.

My plans are never GRAND , but always perfect , in their own sense , if you understand what I mean.

But the problem is , even though they look so workable , they never work out. Man (Woman) proposes , God disposes.

Like I wont get Palak or Paneer , in the Super market if I plan to make palak paneer. Like it starts raining if I planned a candle light dinner on the roof top. Or things like that.

I can actually write a long post on how God disposes my plans so many times.

Simple and small things give me lot of pleasure and if they fail , they put me off.

Now why all this today …

As many of you know ~nm is travelling to Europe and Anirudh has comeover (with my in-laws) to stay with us for 10 day.

I started dreaming of this day before ~nm started dreaming of her trip and I can say for sure that she would vouch on this.

I planned what all Anirudh likes and I would cook / get for him. I planned where all we would take him for sight seeing , bannergatta , mysore zoo , planeterium etc etc. I imagined how they would both play with each other and have great time.

I had such a happy and jolly image of these 10 days. But how could all that work

Anirudh has been suffering from throat infection & fever from 25th. The long weekend for us was spent at home. The kids have been sad in their own ways. Aryan has been feeling jealous and left out at times when all the attention goes to Anirudh and also because he has been kind of kept away (by the grandparents) from Anirudh since he might get infected. Anirudh being sad for not been able to go out and enjoy. Plus I am sure he would be missing the comfort that you can get with your mother around , when you are unwell.

I have been trying for all these days to keep both of them as happy as I can.

I really hope he gets well soon and can enjoy rest of his vacation. It was his first vacation with us and I wish him to carry happy memories. Also , it is ~nm’s first vacation without him and it will sure be worrying her so much I am feeling quite sad for her.

I am honest :-)

myamusingmind — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:56:23 +0000

How do you feel when you get award ? Great isn’t it ? And how do you feel when you get an award from someone you never ever expected ? I am on cloud 11. I never knew this lovely lady reads my blog , lurks may be , but then you don’t award (atleast I don’t) the bloggers that you dont really read ..isn’t it And that too when its honesty award !! So thanks a ton Swapana for making me feel so happy!!

Requirements:-
1.I must thank the person who gave me the award and list their blog and link it
2.I must list 10 honest things about myself
3.I must put a copy of Honest Scrap logo on my blog
4.I must select atleast 7 other worthy bloggers and list their links
5.I must notify the bloggers of the award and hopefully they will follow the above three requirements also.

10 Honest things about me !!

1. 99.9% of the confesstions on this blog have been honest and straight from heart !

2. I love to write! Though I know I am not a writer , but I love to put my thoughts on paper (now computer) since I was very young.

3. But I cannot write poetry ..except from some naive attempts ..I don’t have poetic bend of mind. My writings are limited to putting my thought flow on paper.

4. I love reading my old posts. I sometimes click on the link on the right of this page and read a random post.
5. Lot of times I do things to please people (mainly relatives and close friends) , since I never want to hurt them. But many times I end up screwing things , since the disagreement that I don’t express in words , gets expressed in actions

6. Its difficult to convince me. I will give it to you if you convince me , but then thats the tough part. I cannot agree just because you are YOU !

7. I hate lies. But I do hide things sometimes , inorder to avoid conflicts. Some things are best left unsaid.

8. I love everything in my life , from the 2 men , to the family , to the living, all materlistic and non-materlistic stuff but still I sometimes miss childhood and college days and wish to relive everything.

9. I do not hate anyone , even the people who couldn’t have done worse to me. After all they taught me not to trust anyone more than yourself and your family.

10. I believe there is God and I believe he doesnot expect me to pray to him all the time. He just expects me to be honest to myself .

Phew ! That was tough but then I was 100% honest !

7 bloggers to get tagged are

Swaram
COS
Pixie
Puja
Abha
Monika&Ansh
Shruthi

A Special Friday Evening !

myamusingmind — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 10:02:48 +0000

Friday evening is a term that I learnt to use after I got married. To my husband friday evening means coming early from office and have something unusual for dinner. Before Aryan it meant a lot more ..but then lets not get there

But last friday evening was special. It was an evening with girl friends. Friends who became friends without realization. Friends that had no faces when they became my friends. Friends whom I wanted to meet forever and it did not happen.
Yeah yeah ..blog friends ofcourse !!

Pixie ..we know each other from somewhere in 2007 ..May / June. Thats soon after I started blogging. Pixie and I would comment on each other’s post and most of the comments would sound like , “WOW thats so much like me” , “I would do the same” , “You are absolutely right” , “Are we soul sisters” etc.

And we bonded , I don’t know when. With most of my readers being mommy bloggers pixie was the ONLY non-mommy blogger with whom I bonded and now we can add Swaram to the list.

I don’t remember when she moved to my gmail friends list and when we exchanged numbers. But we never met , until friday !!

Monika came to my world because of Ojas. Ojas is such a adorable baby that even other moms cannot stop looking at his pics. And what a smile he has. You can just keep looking at his pics forever. And then Monika came by to offer contribution to HnT. So sweet of her. And then we chatted on gmail. The journey continues from there. And then we decided to meet and the meet got postponed for one reason or another. But it happened on friday !!

Puja , again she came in for Diya! I have been fascinated with girl childs. I so want one ! And then I got addicted to Puja’s no fuss , no fancy , short and straight posts. And rest of the story is same !! But whats better is I met Diya too this friday and fell in love with her chubby cheeks !!

Iya , a new face to me , absolutely gorgeous and charming. I never realized that I have read so little of her and that she was almost an stranger to me. She got along so well with the gang !!

And we chatted about everything under the sun !! Food, Blogs, bloggers , kids , hubbies , In-laws and even about hubbies of other bloggers LOL !

And it was decided that we will meet again some day for potluck and the invitees would include Abha for sure !! Now don’t ask me why

Now was that not a special friday !!!

And here is the pic of the day :