I have been thinking a lot about this is past few days and so its best that I sort my thoughts out here.
Last week Aryan got a book from school library which started like ..there was a girl (forgot the name) whose mother had died and she had a step mom who was very cruel. After reading those 2 lines I kept the book back in his bag and brought a Tulika for him to read. Why not the new library book , he asked and I said , I dont like it.
Why did I not like it I asked myself. For 2 reasons :
1. Why does the kid has to read a story that starts on a sad account of dead mother. It may intiate a thought process of sad and unforseen events in his mind. Ofcourse we read books as food for thought but I sincerely dont think that he can handle thoughts of death , especially of mother’s death. Nor I think I am mature enough to anwer the questions that will be born from these thoughts.
2. Why are step mothers always cruel. I am sure this world has many step mothers who are not cruel. Why don’t someone write a story on those mothers.
I also thought , if at all I would want my son to think about my death , I would want him to think that he will be able to move on and will have nice people around him and not a cruel step mom.
And then this weekend Aryan was watching Chota bheem on TV while I was lying next to him and happened to see what was coming. I know much had been said about TV shows for kids not been good. But then also I don’t believe in banning TV for kids (the why ..is for another post). So we have an agreement that he will choose 1-2 shows with agreement with Mumma.
Chota bheem was one such show that I allowed , thinking that it is about a well behaved nice kid , sorts of a super hero , set up in indian back drop. Not too harmful at a glance. However when I watched it closely that day , I saw that girls in the show dont fight wars and dont do kung fu. They are supoosed to sit and take care of injured or cheer for the fighting men. Why ?
Gender stereotyping is already hard to fight and a TV show that encourages that ?
My son loves to help me with household stuff. I helps me with every single work that I do. Sometimes thats a pain too , uninterrupted , the work can be done faster. Sometimes thats a scare too ,especially when he helps me in kitchen , what if he touches a hot pot. But I have never ever discouraged him to help me. However some people sometimes do tell him not to tag along with mumma for its ladies work. I feel a strong itch inside me when that statement is made. I do tell my son later that he can ofcourse do that work some other time.
I sincerely hope atleast the next generation doesnot grow up with gender stereo types like these. Why is it a girls work to cook and wash ? Men also eat , can they not cook ? I would like my son to do all house hold work as I would want my daughter. I don’t mean to teach him all this now , but I am happy that he feels the need to help mumma in daily chores and does it with a full heart.
I would want my daughter to play foot ball / basket ball / judo or whatever else she would want , if she enjoys that. I would not mind if she doesnot enjoy cooking and if house hold stuff does not come so naturally to her. It still doesnot come naturally to me However I would love if she learns to cook well and learns to take care of home well too , but thats a wish list and not a mandate.
Chota Bheem is a craze for now and cannot be banned so easily , however I just wish that he gets some good things from it and not the bad ones.
About the book , I was so pissed off that I wanted to write to school to check if these books are apt for kids.
But then there are lot of fairy tales , indian and non indian and lot of anctient tales which talk about harsh realities amd stereotypes. Somehow we avoid such books. Which is why Aryan doesnot know about Cindrella and snowwhite.
Not sure if this is the right thing to do though.
Any thoughts ?
P.S : Second post in a day ..not bad !
And I started learning kannada. Spoke to a Kannada school teacher to teach me kannada and he said he will if I can arrange a batch size of minimum 5 people. Asked in the apartment and quite a many people said that they will be interested. Of the interested bunch , 4 did make to the first class. And so we had our first class on last weekend.
Hopefully ..I will soon do a post in Kannada ..Just hoping that the classes do last.
Sometime back I did this post about how we , this generation , has been moving from some good practices to bad ones , just in an attempt to become cool.
Today I recalled this after reading a discussion on a face book group , about cloth diapers and sanitary pads
Do you remember those triangular pieces of clothes that were used before tinycare and pampers days ?
Do you remember the cotton pads between old cloth / gauze that our moms made once in a month..when carefree was unaffordable and ultrathins unimaginable ?
Those days are back for good , however this time in style. And we are soon going to adapt those practices again , coz the west has already started doing so
Check out these links
Don’t they look COOL !
Why do people shy away from saying what they believe. Why do they behave all friendly on face and wish that you or your race should have never existed. Why do I hate this hypocrisy so much
You have last piece of your favourite sweet and 2 contenders..you and your 6 year old ?
~nm pointed me to a contest on Y’s blog where we have to write funny incidents during our married life. The contest has generated a few very funny entries and reminded me of few incidents that happened during early days of my marriage.
So here I go …
If you are a north indian or you are exposed to north indian culture , you must be aware that marriage does mean being sleep deprived and extremely tired apart from all the other things. So most of the wedding ceremonies were over except the much hyped “First Night” that typically happens the next night after the marriage. And the bride and groom have been awake for almost 36 hours if not more , before the first night.
That “NIGHT” ..I was just waiting to retire in my room , was anxious thanks to the movies , but was sleepy ..just so typical me. And at 10 in the night , I was told to change into a fresh sari and do some make up by my SILs. Little did I know that they were asking me to get ready for “First night” and nor did I know that its going to be so FILMY Not that I minded filmy style but then wearing a sari again at 10 pm with makeup and jewellary ..aaaah.
After some time I was all decked up…taken to my room which was decorated with roses and crysanthem and looked lovely and my tall dark and handsome guy stood there in silk kurta …so sweet ..I thought. Then they clicked a few photos , in which I look almost drunk ..my eyes drooping with sleep. And then they left us there alone
So whatever happened ..or did not happen that night , my husband did woke me up at 4 am in the morning. Well ..can someone be angry with a loving husband , so soon in married life …I almost felt like shouting , its just 4 am. But when I opened my eyes I also was out of the bed within seconds.
The bedsheet was red …okay not with what comes to your mind ..it was red with the rose petals that were spread on it before we sleep. Uff we cursed ourselves for being so filmy and not clearing the bed before lying down.
But what next ..the newly wedded couple scrubbed the bedsheet together in the bathroom , sneaked from the back door and dried it in the back yard and just kept praying that no one questions
Romantic ..isn’t it !!
Thats not all ..
After a day or so I was packing my stuff for our honeymoon. My SIL’s 4 year old was tagging along with me since I was married , excited and curious about having a Mami That meant cute company and not romantic sneak peeks , coz everytime hubby would sneak in , he was there
So the plan was that FIL would take us to temple and then will drop us to the station for the honeymoon further. My little companion asks me , “Mami aap ja rahe ho” and I said yes. Then he asks …”kiske saath”. And I told ” Mama aur Nanu ke sath” , meaning husband and FIL. Pat came the reply from him in a full volume …” Arreee , honeymoon teen log thode hi jaate hai”..3 people don’t go for honeymoon .
I just looked around wide mouthed and cursed myself for underestimating the general knowledge of the little guy
Now that I have started writing ..I can think of a few more ..but thats for later .
So whats your story ?
..you feel too low.
well ..I just read few of my old posts from kids blog ..doesnot help today
Don’t ask me the reasons please ..coz there is hardly any
..I am sure you know this ..no one in this country cares for your life…except the people waiting at home. Please be responsible and careful about your own self.
What if you have offices on both sides of an eight lane road and not a single pedestrian crossing/ bridge , you cannot run and cross the road.
What if you don’t have any space between the drain and the road, you need to choose what is less risky ..the drain or the road.
What if you walk off the road at the mercy of car drivers , bikers , traffic police men , contruction workers ..its your life after all.
So be careful ..coz no one else does.
..how can some people talk so sweetly all the time ? Even if its the demand of their job ..still ..don’t they get tired of it.
One example would be a HR guy in our company ..he makes you feel like an asset, whenever you talk to him ..even though you know he might not mean half of what he says or may be 100% of what he says ..he sounds genuine
Ofcourse I admire the skill ..wish I had it too.
When I was a kid ..rains meant ..
frogs , yellow ones and tadpoles
Ants ..loads of them and sitting in dark to avoid them and cuddling and joking with each other and stamping on ants when they find their way inside.
puddles and jumping in them
getting wet on way back to school and shivering in the living room to make mummy shout at us for making everything wet and for taking bath soon to avoid cold and we secretly enjoying that
rain coats ..the blue one
walking in water thats upto the knee in school and collecting the red flowers that will fall off the trees
or a rainy day holiday from school that some one would inform while we were already half way and that would bring the biggest grin possible.
Now ..rains mean..
clothes in the balcony that will not dry for 2 days
kids who will soon catch cold
Ants …when near my elder one ..make him freak and when near my younger one , make me freak.
puddles ..that make me worry about my footwear and dress
getting wet and making my house wet…and kids getting wet and catching cold
maid who is the only one to still claim a rainy day holiday
When did I stop enjoying simple pleasures of nature ? Is that what adulthood does to you